Breaking up is almost never fun, and I imagine that someone giving you a dumb, insulting, or just ludicrous reason for peace-ing out  might make it worse.

Or maybe better, because after all, laughter is the best medicine?

Either way, any of these 16 people could tell you for sure.

16. Heartless.

I was 17, she was 16 and we went to the mall as my girlfriend wanted to do shopping for a bathing suit.

When we got there, she asked me what I thought about the bikini she was considering getting. It looked amazing, but – naively – I questioned why she was getting one if she already had one. She responded it was for a guy that evening and I wouldn’t want her to look bad in her older, raggy suit.

I stood perplexed and asked why she wanted to see the guy. She said it was to see if he liked her. She bought the bikini and left me at the store breaking up with me at the register – all with a smile. I think I stood there for a solid 20 minutes not knowing wtf just happened.

15. This is just sad.

She didn’t tell me directly, but I found out from a mutual friend that she felt ‘freaked out’ over my size (overall body size, not d%ck size) and that she felt like she was with a child, especially due to my ‘tiny hands.’

I have dwarfism, and she was the first (and only) girl to have an interest in me, so hearing that hit me really hard.

It was like all of my insecurities became valid.


“I just don’t want to lead you on.”

We’ve been together for a year.

“Well, I was really just using you to get to your friend that I’m going out with now.”

…..For a year?

13. She had to have another reason, right?

She called me one morning and said she had a dream that i grabbed her ass in public in front of a bunch of her family and friends.

She said she couldn’t be with someone who would just do that and think thats okay… i didnt know what to say.

She broke up with me because of how i acted in her dream. It really makes me laugh when i think of it now but at the time i really was confused as to how that was a plausable thing in her head.

12. Karma is a real thing.

She told me she was young and was “supposed to experience her life and party and have fun”.

That was the start to 2016.

The start of 2017 for her is her baby being born because she got drunk at a party.

Oh…. Oh the irony

11. He didn’t even try to keep it real.

He needed to concentrate on his career. We worked in the same place. As security guards.

10. I don’t think everyone was informed ahead of time.

I remember one I got from a girl.

“I promised Isaac I’d start dating him on the 12th”

Fuck you Jennifer.

Edit: Since people were commenting, this happened my senior year of high school so I was 17-18 as was she at the time. In the end, it was for the best the “Fuck you” line above was more of a joke. It was just a sh^tty reason to give for the breakup, as the question asked. 🙂

9. Double whammy.

That she couldn’t do the whole long distance thing.

Then started dating my flatmate, who was precisely two meters more long distance than I was.

Needless to say he wasn’t my flatmate for long after that.

8. Always trust your gut.

“My dad is getting deployed and I have to be the man of the house for my mom and brother.”

I was 18 and he was 19. He started officially dating my friend a week later and it became clear that they had been messing around like I had thought.

7. That’s just not right.

Not sure what you call it, reason/cop out/bullsh^t…. my ex dumped me via facebook right after I helped her through a tough time in her life (thyroid cancer surgery) Soon as she was fully recovered she ditched me, turns out all the nice awesome stuff she said and did was just to get me to stick around and help her through things.

I can handle a breakup — but I was just straight up used and thrown away like a god d*mn band-aid. Was the first time in my life (at 33) I though I found someone I could spend the rest of my life with. Also found out by pure accident how much of a lying piece of sh^t she was through some emails I happened upon.

Just as the highest comment says — f*ck you Jennifer

Edit – thanks for the internet love guys and girls — even though it sucks for anyone who goes through something similar, it’s mildly comforting knowing I’m not the only one who’s been through something like that .

6. What on earth.

I was a 15 year old freshmen and she was 17 year old senior. When we started dating, she said she wanted to wait two months before having sex. I was a virgin and wasn’t even really worried about it so I agreed. Then a month later things got hot and heavy and she insisted that we do it; I asked “are you sure? You said you wanted to wait” but she insisted on banging it out anyways. Afterwards, she said that it was a test to see if I would actually wait like I said I would, and that I “failed just like every other guy before me did”. Then she dumped me.

5. I think this was a Seinfeld episode.

I remember one of the reasons being,

“We never argue and if we do, you never yell. I need to see emotion out of you.”

I grew up in a house where my parents seemed to scream at each other any time they got in an argument. Never liked that. Figured I wouldn’t if I was in a relationship.

4. I’d take a pass on that.

“I love you too much and I don’t want to lose you so let’s be friends instead”

3. Why has this happened to more than one person?

She had a nightmare that i was cheating on her with a fictional made up woman. I found it so ridiculous that it actually made the break up way easier.

2. It was definitely the go-cart race.

I went go kart racing with my gf. During the race I ran her off the road. She broke up with me a week later. She gave a couple reasons that seemed like copouts. To this day I’m convinced it was the go-cart race.

1. I have no idea why this is a thing.

1 gf broke up with me because her best friend just broke up with her bf a couple days before. Didn’t know our relationships were tied together like that

I’m dying. People are so special, y’all.

So special.

Tell us your best/worst/funniest breakup story in the comments!