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If you’re like me, you can’t help but watch the latest true crime case on Investigation Discovery or Netflix.
Know why? Because we’re actually learning something! Like how NOT to get killed.
These things happened, somebody might want to murder me one day and I need all of the knowledge I can get to spot that shit before it happens.
These 16 people know what I’m talking about!
1. Oh, you see you do you?
This murder show I’m watching hitting me with a BIG mood pic.twitter.com/VnzDfqBonL
— Melly in DC (@mellyindc) March 21, 2018
2. You are like this because you hate yourself
Me: *has anxiety about being home alone & someone breaking in*
Also me: *records a true crime series about people who are murdered in their homes when they're alone*
Why am I like this? 🙃
— ~Whit✨ (@Starwinxie) December 28, 2017
3. Hey, everybody’s gotta die…
when u want new episodes of forensic files but then u realize the only way thats able to happen pic.twitter.com/t46brJl2cY
— arbys fan account (@rinkus_dinkus) March 19, 2018
4. Yeah Chrissy… cool story…
I watch so much investigation discovery that murder / kidnapping doesn't seem like that crazy of a potential death situation anymore
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) April 3, 2014
5. But is that a bad thing?
I've watched so many murder shows that now every time I'm in a parking lot I get fully prepared to fight off a kidnapper
— Ginger Spice (@angdebiase) June 7, 2016
6. TBH, the actors are REALLY bad…
Dear TV show reenactments of real life crimes – the actors you hire are ridiculous & I'm laughing during this murder & that's fucked up
— Ridin' Dirty (@Doctomom) October 24, 2013
7. Best to get it out of the way early…
Not to jump the gun or anything but I watch true crime documentaries on the first date.
— Parasite Hilton (@ParasiteHilton) March 6, 2018
8. I think I have an idea…
My favorite past times include watching true crime documentaries, listening to My Favorite Murder podcasts, reading reddit threads of creepy stories, and then wondering why I can’t fall asleep at night
— Shae 🥐 (@shae_thompson_) March 6, 2018
9. “I could murder somebody sooooo much better…”
Forensic files narrator: and he left his finger prints on the door knob…
Me eating my 5th mozzarella stick: you absolute fucking idiot
— Patrick Stevens (@killingfloor96) August 8, 2017
10. “Yeah, keep walking backward. Just a few more feet…”
I've seen enough episodes of Dateline to know never to stand near a cliff while letting Hubs take my picture.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) May 23, 2016
11. Take baths instead?
I watch so many murder shows that I'm afraid to close my eyes in the shower
— Shayli🌻 (@Shaylidarling) September 7, 2016
12. Oh… she’s marriage material for sure!
“Everybody loves us weird girls, right up until we start doing weird girl shit,” I say to my cat, as we watch a documentary about serial killers in our matching onesies.
— 🗡🖤🔪ficklenuts🗡🖤🔪 (@ficklenuts) December 16, 2017
13. Follow. This. Advice.
Murder shows teach me one thing. Watch out for people who own a lake house.
— bec. (@becsrcoleman) September 12, 2014
14. “The dog ate my car.”
*stays up all night watching true crime murder mysteries on tv*
*can't come up with a good alibi why I'm late for work*
— Idle (@Mindless4Miles) January 7, 2016
15. Those dishes aren’t going to murder themselves!
Came home to my husband watching ID Channel, dinner cooked and an empty sink.
I have never feared for my life and been simultaneously turned on than I am in this moment.
— Judy from the internet (@jnapsalot) January 24, 2018
16. Ahhhhhh…. murder…. so comforting….
Gonna let the Forensic Files narrator soothe me to sleep with murder stories now.
— STEVE HUFF (@SteveHuff) February 25, 2018
You think we don’t know people won’t try to murder us one day?
Oh, we see you murderers. We see ALL ya’ll!