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If you’re like me, you can’t help but watch the latest true crime case on Investigation Discovery or Netflix.

Know why? Because we’re actually learning something! Like how NOT to get killed.

These things happened, somebody might want to murder me one day and I need all of the knowledge I can get to spot that shit before it happens.

These 16 people know what I’m talking about!

1. Oh, you see you do you?

2. You are like this because you hate yourself

3. Hey, everybody’s gotta die…

4. Yeah Chrissy… cool story…

5. But is that a bad thing?

6. TBH, the actors are REALLY bad…

7. Best to get it out of the way early…

8. I think I have an idea…

9. “I could murder somebody sooooo much better…”

10. “Yeah, keep walking backward. Just a few more feet…”

11. Take baths instead?

12. Oh… she’s marriage material for sure!

13. Follow. This. Advice.

14. “The dog ate my car.”

15. Those dishes aren’t going to murder themselves!

16. Ahhhhhh…. murder…. so comforting….

You think we don’t know people won’t try to murder us one day?

Oh, we see you murderers. We see ALL ya’ll!