Jokes are hard. The good ones are, anyway – just ask any comedian that spends literal weeks perfecting every last syllable to get a ten-second laugh.
So the fact that these people can earn a chuckle, at the very least, in one single line is pretty darn special.
At least, we think it is.
17. “A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket and thinks, ‘Some as$hole has my pen.'”
16. “What if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish.”
Image Credit: Pixabay
15. “There’s no I in denial.”
14. “I was addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.”
Image Credit: Pixabay
13. “The difference between a hippo and a Zippo is that one is heavy and the other is a little lighter.”
12. “I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.”
Image Credit: Pixabay
11. “Am I the only one who realizes that blackboards are truly remarkable?”
10. “I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.”
Image Credit: Pixabay
9. “This morning I was staring at my naked body in the mirror and thought ‘I’m gonna get kicked out of this Ikea pretty soon.'”
8. “I hate Russian dolls; they’re so full of themselves.”
Image Credit: Pixabay
7. “I saw a sign that said ‘Watch for children’ and I thought, ‘That sounds like a fair trade.'”
6. “I haven’t slept for 10 days, because that would be too long.”
Image Credit: Pixabay
5. “They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian; well, they’re not laughing now.”
4. “There’s a fine line between hyphenated words.”
Image Credit: Pixabay
3. “This is my stepladder. I never knew my real ladder.”
2. “It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.”
Image Credit: Pixabay
1. “There are two types of people in the world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.”
I’m laughing again – are you laughing?
What’s your favorite one-liner?
Let us know in the comments… if you know what’s good for ya! 😉