No one will argue that even the best relationships aren’t hard sometimes. There’s an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine says one of the most important relationship aspects is being able to break up nicely, and though it was a joke…it’s also kind of true.

It’s also an apt reference, because some of these really stupid reasons to break up would have been right at home on the show.

17. I guess it depends on what sort of movies you watch.

“I love you so much and want to spend the rest of my life with you.

We have to break up, if it’s really meant to be then we will end up together again like they do in the movies.”

16. Definitely count your lucky stars there.

I was “too clingy”

She got mad every time I hung out with anyone that wasn’t her.

15. There might be a reason for that.

“I don’t feel a spark of anything when we kiss anymore”

At that time I got hit in the mouth with a bat and couldn’t kiss her for the past month.

If you didn’t want to be with me just say it or at least come up with a better lie to dump me over

14. I’m guessing that probably didn’t happen.

One of my exes dumped me saying that he wanted to “be like paul” from the bible…

13. Keep it classy.

I (a 14 year old) wouldn’t take her (a 14 year old) virginity in a Burger King bathroom.

Welcome to Ireland.

12. That’s called getting what you deserve.

I bought my GF one of the World of Warcraft expansion packs for her birthday. She started playing again — like she really got into it — and I hardly saw her. She’d play all night and would come to bed as I was getting up.

To be clear, that made me want to dump her. But, what ended up happening was she started playing with her ex and it apparently rekindled their feelings for each other, because she dumped me after a couple of weeks of this sh^t and got back with him. But, by that time he had moved away, so their relationship was entirely limited to playing questing or some sh^t. And, then they broke up again after like a month of this. At the time it was horrible, but now I can’t help but laugh.

TL;DR ex dumped me for a Mage.

11. The other reasons are insignificant.

I got dumped because the headlights on my car didn’t come on automatically when I started my car.

I’m assuming he had other reasons, but this is what I was told. And I love laughing at it!

10. I’m not sure I’m buying this one.

Made a girl smile too much.

She had braces and it cut up the inside of her mouth.

9. There are adults, supposedly.

We went to rival colleges and I had graduated from the “bad” one.


8. This is definitely a Seinfeld moment.

My boyfriend broke up with me because he was moving away to go to puppet school.

7. Wow. That’s a very committed cat person.

My ex’s cat was named “Ben”. The girl I was dating’s cat was named “Bundles”.

One day, I called “Bundles”, “Ben”. She asked me what I just called her cat.

I thought about it, and then remembered that was my ex’s cat’s name.

I laughed and told her and she was super unimpressed.

Broke up with me the next day.

6. This is kind of a compliment.

Shared this before here, but this has and will always take the cake for me.

College GF’s Dad won 1 million dollars in the state lottery over winter break.

Broke up with me over the phone, telling me “now that I’m rich, I can’t afford to date regular people like you.

That’s really the only thing wrong, you’re just regular.”

5. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

After going out with this guy for 6 months I asked him if we were dating and he immediately ghosted me.

4. Did he, though?

The girl told me she thought this boy who she had a crush on for a long time was gonna ask her out.

She said this to me. Her then bf.

3. There is definitely more to this story and I am here for it.

She thought I killed her horse (it wasn’t actually her horse) with voodoo (it hung itself) because I was jealous (it was a horse.)

2. Giving up tuna would be really hard, tbh.

“We have to break up. I mean, we can’t even get married… you’re allergic to fish!”

She chose the occasional tuna sandwich over me. I laughed and still tell the story so I guess it’s a win!

1. …how old were you though.

She found out the truck I was driving was owned by my mom.

I’m thinking most, if not all, of these people majorly dodged a bullet.

What’s the dumbest reason anyone ever dumped you? Please, share it with us in the comments!