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It’s no secret that tabloids are insane. Just like clickbait ads, they present the most shocking statements possible so you won’t be able to look away.

But some of these demand an immediate explanation. Especially the British ones. Sheesh.

1. Important question

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2. Wait…

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3. UGH trees are such high maintenance cuz they always have wood

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4. Tracy!

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5. ‘IT WAS POO’ … O__O

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6. Ok then.

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7. Hmmm… I wonder

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8. She’s always baked though

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9. Peppa Pig has destroyed plenty of people – what makes you so special

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10. Tell us, Jeff.

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11. WOW. Don’t ever piss off Linda. Jesus.

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12. This comes as a surprise, or…?

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13. Good chat.

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14. How would you even know that

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15. ‘Mr. Checked Shirt’? AYFKM

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16. PSYCHO

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17. OK THAT’S ENOUGH

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18. I am too at this point

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19. That’s probably best for everyone

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You know what? I changed my mind. I don’t want an explanation. For any of it.

Just forget I said anything.