Twitter is the place for short replies and quick wit – both of which Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling has in spades. Which is made clear enough by these 20 times she expertly trolled the internet trolls.
20. I hate it when that happens.
.@Lukekocura I'd type a longer retort, but these diamond buttons really hurt my fingers. pic.twitter.com/RJ19nIMd94
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 4, 2015
19. Wear it with pride.
Unless you're actually a hooded chihuahua, I'm pretty sure I win on the 'not hiding' front. I quite like 'old whore', though. #Shakespearean pic.twitter.com/0pIEVfrGn7
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 30, 2017
18. Because we’ve got news for you…
Lady, if you think the deaths of vulnerable African women are a suitable subject for a pussy joke, you'd better hope there's no hell. pic.twitter.com/PYhAKD0eFG
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 23, 2017
17. Goals.
.@aboymadeofsky No, Jonathan, I've never made a single decision in my life on the basis of whether it was cool.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 9, 2014
16. Not enough people quote Churchill, if you ask me.
*sighs* Well, who knows? If I try harder, I might be reincarnated as a lonely virgin hiding behind a cartoon frog. pic.twitter.com/EbocdxfJ5o
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 30, 2017
15. Savage.
Well, the fumes from the DVDs might be toxic and I've still got your money, so by all means borrow my lighter. pic.twitter.com/kVoi8VGEoK
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 31, 2017
14. I mean that’s helpful.
.@sjosiah0 The Internet doesn’t just offer opportunities for misogynistic abuse, you know. Penis enlargers can also be bought discreetly.
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 8, 2015
13. A calling, really.
When a pleasure becomes a duty. https://t.co/TZSpmbrtc2
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 9, 2017
12. Standard author nightmare.
@amymeowz I had a waking nightmare where I met a Harry Potter fan who quizzed me on a sub-plot & I couldn't remember what I'd written
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 7, 2014
11. Adorable.
.@Mattdavelewis Not as bad as watching Dan in Equus, but close. Warn me next time, for God's sake. https://t.co/r8EUd1GKqT
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) May 21, 2015
10. Slow clap.
.@DynamiteTom Gosh, no, I've got several million women sitting beside me. pic.twitter.com/hd41WsW2zN
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) October 9, 2016
9. Oh, Draco.
@diddy_marie_ It would look a lot like this. pic.twitter.com/wPnCh0LPxP
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) June 9, 2014
8. Yes, I fail to see the problem.
If the worst they can say about you is you're an OPENLY GAY EX-OLYMPIC FENCER TOP JUDGE, you've basically won life. pic.twitter.com/j8tUTjODuP
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) November 3, 2016
7. This line is so old.
In – Free – Countries – Anyone – Can – Talk – About – Politics.
Try sounding out the syllables aloud, or ask a fluent reader to help. pic.twitter.com/K1j19EIU5f
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 28, 2017
6. Nothing so posh.
"the queen's dime." As if I grew up in the palace kitchen, polishing corgis. pic.twitter.com/aCaU1515G8
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 30, 2017
5. There it is.
.@anakocovic21 Maybe because gay people just look like… people?
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) March 24, 2015
4. That’s funny, I don’t care who you are.
*its* pic.twitter.com/io7ms1NRTb
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) December 17, 2016
3. Oh, man.
Guess it's true what they say: you can lead a girl to books about the rise and fall of an autocrat, but you still can't make her think. pic.twitter.com/oB7Aq6Xz8M
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 1, 2017
2. All shouty and everything!
Must be telling the truth. He used caps. https://t.co/KtLD1x7nwQ
— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) January 11, 2017
1. Tried and failed to not spit out my coffee.
They see me Rowlin'
They hatin' https://t.co/dfiqou7vpD— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) February 17, 2016
Now that’s winning!