21 Relationship “Rules” That Are Big Red Flags

There are exceptions of course, most of them being tongue-in-cheek jabs or exaggerations, but for the most part, any sentence that starts with “my boyfriend doesn’t let me…” is generally a red flag.

Maybe several decades ago in America it would be considered a norm for one person in a relationship to be dominant to the point of being controlling and arbitrary, but we’ve got enough of a general cultural awareness of abuse and power dynamics now that confessions like these raise a few eyebrows, to say the least.

21. Change your tone

Why, though?

20. Getting annoyed

That’s not great – you’re two different people.

19. Made up

That’s a level of insecurity that he needs to deal with, not you.

18. The outside world

Gross. Dump him.

17. The naked truth

Yeah, I’d say that’s an understatement.

16. Hate it / love him

Don’t be a prude, dude.

15. Wherever he wants

Classic double standard.

14. You’re fired

It’s a destructive habit, no doubt, but you’re an adult and that’s not how addiction is handled.

13. Hold in my tears

He probably just has no idea how to deal with it so he lashes out at you.

12. I still believe

That’s abuse, yo.

11. It’s a snap

Get outta there.

10. Talk the talk

So many of these are just variations on externalized insecurity.

9. Junk it

If they really did, I’m guessing your HR department would have something to say about it as well.

8. Psycho

I’m always baffled by people who say stuff like this but then demonstrate no intention of just breaking up with the person they clearly don’t like.

7. Watch out

I’m sure this won’t spark an endless debate in the comments or anything.

6. Totally broken

Like I said, abuse is not the exclusive domain of any gender.

5. Self-sabotage

It’s manipulation and it’s really not fair to you at all.

4. Fight the fight

The sleep thing is the worst.

3. In my feelings

I can feel, but not you.

2. Pay up

Hmm, mixed feelings on this one.

1. What a twist

When done right, control ain’t all bad.

There’s a dynamic you’re comfortable with, and then there’s abuse and manipulation. Sometimes it can be hard to see the line between them, but it’s important to try.

Have you experienced something like this?

Tell us about it in the comments.