There’s an old saying that goes “the customer is always right.” Unfortunately, it seems to have drifted quite a long way from its original context. Apparently it used to imply that if the customer said they preferred this thing over that thing, you should not try to argue with them, just sell them what they want.

Sensible enough.

But somehow, over time, the mantra warped into “As a customer, anything I say is correct no matter how stupid it may be.” Retail workers hate this phrase.

To demonstrate exactly why, here are 22 stories from retail employees about the dumbest things customers thought they were “right” to try to return.

22. Dry off

You’re the worst character ever, Towely.

Source: Whisper

21. Night of the living dead

Come on, take it, maybe it’ll grow on ya.

Source: Whisper

20. Caught empty-handed

Is this the plot to the new Ocean’s 11?

Source: Whisper

19. Days gone by

There are better ways to get rid of that, friend.

Source: Whisper

18. Show off

In related news, I’d like to return all my small pants that *I* no longer fit into.

Source: Whisper

17. Positive feedback

That is very much not how this works.

Source: Whisper

16. Location, location, location

This is what happens when you’re proven wrong but are too stubborn to admit it.

Source: Whisper

15. Props

You tried your best and that’s what matters.

Source: Whisper

14. Ghost of Christmas Future

I would watch the hell out of this court case, though.

Source: Whisper

13. The tooth hurts

This isn’t just dumb. This is dumb beyond science itself.

Source: Whisper

12. I saw that

It didn’t take much to cut through his nonsense.

Source: Whisper

11. A big stink

The manager is also going to think you’re dumb, ma’am.

Source: Whisper

10. Empty promises

The rolling stone catches no returns.

Source: Whisper

9. Grosser grocer

“Oh you won’t take my garlic, huh? Sounds like something a VAMPIRE would say!”

Source: Whisper

8. Sick burn

People know when you smoke, lady.

Source: Whisper

7. Shrinkage

This is why you always buy pants that are slightly bigger than what you need.

Source: Whisper

6. Power play

He came, he saw, he cancelled.

Source: Whisper

5. What’s the difference?

I’m sort of on the customer’s side with this one, actually.

Source: Whisper

4. Even odds

Basic math is tough sometimes.

Source: Whisper

3. What a bargain!

“For sale. Lightly used for two cycles around the sun.”

Source: Whisper

2. Receipt retreat

How do you become an adult and understand so little about how the world works?

Source: Whisper

1. Spud dud

This is either horrifically dumb or one of the best prank calls I’ve ever heard of.

Source: Whisper

So clearly, the customer is not always right. In fact, their ratio of incorrect to correct is likely staggering. Say a prayer today for all the retail workers who have to deal with them. They’re the real heroes.

What was the worst experience you’ve ever had with a customer?

Tell us about it in the comments.