The longer we live, the more we learn. The more we learn, the more we wish we’d known back when we hadn’t lived very long yet. It’s inevitable, it’s a part of life.
You only get good at a game by playing it, and if you’re kind, you’ll help some newbies find their way as well. There was plenty of such life advice flowing from one particular Twitter thread kicked off by user @GayatriiM, who wrote:
Women in their 40s, what is one life lesson you learnt late in life?
I -learnt that sacrifices you make for others are overrated. At the end of the day, you’ll be held responsible for the choices you made esp. by those whose share of responsbilities you took over!
Over to you!
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 18, 2020
There are endless tweet replies, and a lot of common themes. Here are some of our favorites.
30. “Treat the other as just a human”
We cannot expect perfection.
So true Appy. Human by nature is flawed. Why people just others, ignoring flaws of their own..
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
29. “Boundaries are super important”
You can’t be all things to all people.
Absolutely! Total devotion is a crappy concept.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
28. “What angers you controls you”
Don’t hand over the reigns.
Very important realisation that is, Priya.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
27. “Keep learning all the time”
You’re never going to know it all.
Constant Learning keeps the mind agile, esp. during times when your mind & body is fighting change of harmones. Value your opinions- that too, is so important. Also, not to over care, that can be stifling at times, esp. for non-givers.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
26. “Give importance to self happiness”
You’re only one person.
Absolutely. Also, let people know how they made you feel, bereft of emotions, rationally. Let people do things to make you happy, show gratitude to those who do. Accept gratitude with grace. Accept help.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
25. “Indulge yourself”
You’ve only got this one life to live.
Most essential. Another important thing is to have your circle of trust, people with no transactional relationship or day-to-day exchanges but people with common interests. We all need friends to live through later years of life.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
24. “Choose your battles wisely”
Otherwise you might get drained.
So important. Also lose some battles to win the war. the war to keep yourself above the rest.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
23. “If you are kind to yourself…”
A glass can only spill what it contains.
Be kind to yourself. the most beautiful relationship one has with their own self. And you are a beautiful person Deepika, I am amazed you said close to 60, when I met you, never took you for a day above 40 🙂
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
22. “If you are happy…”
Remember what you can and can’t control.
Right. If you are happy, you can take care of others around you better.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
21. “Relations change”
Nothing is set in stone, that doesn’t mean these things aren’t meaningful.
Any relationship is one argument/dispute/conflict of interest away from calling it quits. Even Friendships come with an expiry date.but the good thing is – we can’t chose our relatives & neighbours but there is always room for a new friend in life.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
20. “Build your tribe”
You can be civil without being close.
An important lesson in life. Build your tribe carefully. Don’t let everyone in your inner circle.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
19. “Say no sometimes”
If you do everything, that will be expected forever.
Very important. Esp. Living in large families and in work set up. Self preserve.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
18. “Live in NOW”
The past is the past.
Such important lessons of life, Sangeet.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
17. “Be the fulcrum”
We are, at the end of the day, very simple machines.
The Be All, End All. be the axis world revolves around.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
16. “Pain is overrated”
You’re not here to suffer for someone else.
Do not let anyone use you ever. Do things consciously.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
15. “Make choices which make you happy”
Damned if you do, do it anyway.
Bingo! May sound too late but changing times are telling us otherwise.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 18, 2020
14. “Say no”
You are not responsible for everything.
Learning to say NO is so liberating.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
13. “IDGAF”
Not a word, but I get what you mean.
If you have mastered IDGAF, it is an achievement in itself :).how did you do that
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
12. “Your life is your own”
You can help people, but you can’t live for someone else.
Absolutely vital learning!
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
11. “There may never be a later”
Postponed may well mean cancelled.
True, Dee. Women keep denying small pleasures of life, keeping other’s priorities ahead of theirs. I started that in late 30s & not regret a day spent in self preservation.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
10. “Never too late”
Don’t forget about you.
Never too late. Start planning for it now. now is the moment to sieze
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
9. “Don’t take everything to heart”
Some things need to be let go.
Very nice. What changed after you started this?
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
8. “You don’t have to reply to every message”
There’s just too much noise sometimes.
Such important lessons. It is not rude to respond to everyone but is self preservation. and silence & detachment works better at times than confrontation and arguments.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
7. “Be kind and gentle”
You’re the only you you’ve got.
Such an important lesson Lakshmi. Did you face any resistance when you practiced that? a self assured woman is not looked at kindly in our patriarchal set up?
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
6. “Life is too short”
There are billions of people in this world, you’re not gonna win ’em all.
Absolutely! Well said.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
5. “Life goes on”
Nothing lasts forever.
Hai na! And we spend a lifetime being an invisible pillar for others.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
4. “Put yourself first”
Some things you want to realize before they’re too late.
True. Put yourself first. A life lesson we need to instil in our kids and not make them scapegoat for budhape ka sahara, ridden with guilt.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
3. “Detachment”
Don’t get weighed down.
So so important. Negative and toxic people.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
2. “Not to give in”
You’re a person, not a host.
Absolutely. Well said.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
1. “Setting boundaries”
Don’t let everybody just stomp around as they please.
The concept of boundaries is missing from Indian household esp. joint families. Women need to set them up early, you stated a very valid point.
— Gee (@GayatriiM) August 19, 2020
I know these were written specifically for people in demographics I don’t fit, but still, SO much feels universal. Be good to each other, but also be good to yourself.
What piece of advice would you like to pass along?
Tell us in the comments.