You ever click “buy” on something and immediately feel guilty for it? Then you tell yourself, “Well, it’s not too late. The order hasn’t been processed yet. Surely I can just tell them to cancel it…undo my egregiously irresponsible mistake…”
But then you just stare at the screen, and you realize; you’re not gonna click cancel. You’re buying this thing, d**mit. And nobody’s gonna stop you. We’ve all made dumb purchases. From the time when we were just kids to, like, yesterday.
Just ask the 18,000 or so people who responded to this question on r/AskReddit by user 3VD:
Here are just a few of the greatest hits (via the people of Reddit) from the massive thread that ensued:
1. When the internet was young, sometimes we’d buy CDs over the phone.
I was drunk and bought Monster Ballads off an infomercial.
And I paid an extra $20 for rush delivery, because I was drunk and needed it asap, and it showed up a month later.
2. Always be careful when someone is selling you a way to make money.
There was this guy named Don Lapre who sold money making kits. Like how to make money with classified ads.
I think I “invested” about $350 and received literally nothing of value.
I was young(er) and being stupid.
Looked him up tonight to remember how to spell his name. Turns out he killed himself with a razor blade while in jail in 2011.
3. I sympathize with this guy’s particularly bad car luck.
When I was 19, I got a construction job that paid fairly well. Stupid me got all hot and horny for a fun car.
I signed up for a 5 year loan after test driving the first one. I ended up having engine failure almost 2 years later.
Because it was a used car and from a shady used car dealer, the warranty was well expired.
I couldn’t afford to get a new engine for it so I ended paying over 3 years for a car that I wasn’t driving.
4. This story is just weird in a way I can’t put my finger on.
This past Christmas Eve I was doing some last minute shopping and came across a wine glass shaped like Buddy from the movie ‘Elf’ which of course also had Will Ferell’s face on it. With everything kinda being out of order with the holiday rush I didn’t know how much it cost, but I bought it on pure impulse because I thought it was funny.
It wasn’t until I left the store and looked at the receipt did I realize that it cost 22 dollars, which is way more than it’s worth.
To remind me of my mistake, I now drink out of that glass exclusively and have been for the past 5 months, I have to wash it like twice a day but I won’t stop using it until I feel like I’ve gotten my 22 dollars worth
5. Remember: cars are for travel, they are not toys.
Most expensive dumb thing?
A Mercedes 500SEL.
Literally bankrupt myself buying parts and gas for that f**king land yacht. Sold it for half what I paid and felt lucky to be rid of it.
6. All theme park stuff is a scam.
I spent $40 one of those amusement park booths where you had to throw darts at balloons.
For some reason, I picked out this really ugly 7ft tall frog stuffed animal.
It’s in the corner of my closet and still scares me when I’m half awake in the morning.
7. Drunken weaponry. What could go wrong?
Got drunk and started ordering Ninja gear off of Amazon and forgot about it until it showed up like a week later.
Swords, nunchucks, a suit and mask.
8. You have dishonored your ancestors.
I was just a few weeks out of basic training and bought one of those family lineage with the shields on it and description.
I blew $500 or so bucks just to find out it wasn’t even accurate.
9. This one is from a world we’d all forgotten…
Shamwow. I mean, it’s got “sham” right there in the name.
But I wanted to support Vince from Shamwow’s crusade against Scientology.
10. It’s disheartening how many people answered like this:
Big Wedding…all that money…could’ve helped so many problems we had later….divorced anyway.
11. You can get into trouble if you always try to play it by ear.
I bought a ‘make it yourself’ music box, with a series of cards to punch out the notes and then insert so you can play whatever tune you want.
Thought I could make my GF a special gift, then I realised that I cant read music and when I tried to punch it by ear it sounded bloody awful.
12. Delivery fees are gonna getcha.
10$+ delivery fee for a 6-8$ meal
13. Some purchases come with lessons that are obvious in retrospect.
I once bought my girlfriend a hat and had her name embroidered on it.
She asked me if I would ever wear a shirt with my name on it.
I would not.
14. I need to know more about this person’s life.
This year I paid $60 for a Shrek action figure wearing a Nascar racing suit at a thrift store
15. Some purchases are always a bad idea.
I bought a timeshare.
16. The 3 year old super-salesman.
Not me but I sold a kid, that was twice my age, some gravel for 1€ as a 3y/o.
His mom was angry as hell
17. The preteen Pokemon poser.
I bought like a $100 (USD) Raichu holographic / Japanese Team Rocket Pokemon Card when I was maybe 8-10, using my allowance for it.
I never played Pokemon, just collected the cards because they looked cool. I still get teased from my family, 15+ years later
18. The elementary school spray tanner:
In elementary a kid called me pale. So I went to Walmart and bought spray tan. My dad thought it was sun block.
My sister knew what it was but didn’t say anything cause she was just gonna sit back and watch how this plays out.
I went in and out of the bathroom multiple times that day continuously reapplying before my sister decided it was time to tell my dad.
I went through half the can in a day and was more orange than a Oompa Loompa.
19. Maybe a budding entomologist?
My family visited Colorado when I was 10 and I saw a statue of a Mosquito in a gift shop with the words “State Bird” on the bottom and begged my parents for it
We now have a rather large mosquito statue on our piano
20. This little piggy went to market.
I was 11 and my dad gave me 50 bucks to spend at the mall. So, I wandered into a gift shop and spent it all on an electronic vibrating oinking pink pig.
I never played with it after I brought it home.
Tried to return it, only to be offered store credit.
21. Traveler beware.
When I went on a school field trip to Washington DC back in middle school, I bought a $2 bill at a souvenir shop for $20. smh
22. Some kinda amatuer historian over here.
I was at the Russian exhibit at Expo ’86. My parents gave me a $20 bill and said spend $10.
I bought $20 worth of Russian newspapers. To this day I still don’t know what the flying f**k I was thinking.
23. If music be the food of love…
A CD of Mickey Mouse Rapping I bought in the 6th grade. Will never live it down with my cousins.
I’m 37 and it’s one of my biggest regrets.
24. Guess you could call them a sock hopper.
When I was like 14 I bought a pack of intentionally mismatched socks that were really expensive.
Like, only one of each pattern. Could have bought twice as many normal socks and just mismatched them myself.
25. You’ve got quite a wrap career ahead of you.
My buddy and I decided to saran wrap another friends car shut. Mind you, this was 1999.
Do you have any idea how much saran wrap $37 buys you in 1999?
My buddy’s parents are still using the leftovers to this day.
26. Mad as a hatter.
I went on a cross-country car trip with my family when I was 17.
We hit Nashville, Tennessee heading out and I knew we were going to be going through it again on the way back home.
While browsing through a store I saw this hat. It was a black, mesh, top hat with red flowers and fake beads on it.
It was used and dusty and I absolutely had to have it.
But we were near the beginning of the trip and I only had $50 spending money so I didn’t want to waste my money buying a hat.
But I didn’t stop thinking about it and when we got back to Nashville, I’d saved $10. I went into the store and I bought this dusty, used, stupid hat.
I was so happy I wore it every day for the rest of the trip. The day after we got home, my dog chewed it to shreds.
27. The college-asaurus.
Got that inflatable dinosaur costume.
Wore it once around my campus and now I forgot where it is
28. Graduation and regrets.
2 different university degrees (Business Administration and Economics). Alas.
29. Hey, lego head.
I just spent $250 on the 1989 Batmobile Lego set, arrived today.
Part of me is excited to build it. However the other side just thinks “what are you doing you’re a 27 year old man spending money on Legos during a pandemic”.
But still excited to build tomorrow.
30. We’re all children at heart.
I’m 53 years old and I still spend $40 to $70 a pop for 1:400 scale die cast model airliners.
Got a wife and a mortgage and two preteen grandgirls we raise, plus a nasty orchestral clarinetting habit to support… and I still cherish the thrill these little planes give me of remembering that day when I was 12 flying into LAX and seeing those giant jets from exotic corners of the world.
If I remember my Sunday school right, I think there’s something in the Bible along the lines of “A fool and his money are soon parted.” Or was it partied? Either way, it definitely rings true.
What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever spent money on?
Tell us in the comments.