There is so much hate and overall unpleasantness being spread around on social media so often that it’s refreshing to see a story like this, even though it is based around a terrible tragedy.
A woman named Lydia Graham reached out on Facebook to try to find an off-duty nurse who showed incredible bravery when her brother Ian M. Graham died in a motorcycle accident in North Carolina.
Here is Lydia Graham’s Facebook post in its entirety:
“Hi you guys/strangers who see this….
I feel funny writing this, and have debated writing it for a while now. I’ve decided I want to go for it, and the only way I can really think to get it out there is on facebook. I’d really appreciate if you’d share.
I’m trying to find the woman who witnessed and responded to an accident on September 10, 2014 around 6:30 PM on Route 147 between Chapel Hill St and Swift Ave in Durham, North Carolina.
What I know about this woman is this:
-she is (or was at the time) a nurse at Duke Hospital
-I *believe* she told the police she had just finished her shift at the hospital and was driving home, but that is not 100% verifiable
-She performed an emergency airway procedure on a stranger, in the middle of a busy road, shielding his body from oncoming traffic
-I was told she called the police the following week to ask about his progress, and was informed that he had passed awayI’m asking that you share this, especially if you are in North Carolina/the Durham area. If you know any medical staff at Duke Hospital, I ask especially that you share with them.
I’d like to find her, because I’d like to send her the following message.
Thank you.
——
You don’t know me; you don’t know I exist. I feel like I know you. I know you exist. I’ve been wanting to tell you this for a while now.
In September 2014, you witnessed a gruesome accident. I am so sorry that that happened to you. I can imagine that it has probably haunted you at least a little ever since.
Your reaction was to get out of your car and put yourself into a dangerous and scary situation in order to shield and keep alive a complete stranger, in the middle of a busy road. I know that that was scary and traumatic for you. I know you saw things nobody wants to see. I’m sure you feared for your own safety, and I’m sure it was really difficult for you to find out that the man you threw yourself into helping and saving did not survive despite it all.
His name was Ian M. Graham. He was my brother.
The post continues…
Because of you, he reached the hospital alive. He received the best medical attention and care any person could possibly receive.
I want you to know there is nothing- truly nothing- you could have done better or differently. I want you to know you did everything perfectly.
I want you to know that you did not save Ian’s life only because Ian’s life could not be saved.
But more importantly, I want you to know that that day, your courage and your humanity and your selflessness actually saved many lives.
Ian was an organ donor, and because he made it to the hospital and onto a ventilator alive, his organs were viable.
Ian’s life actually helped save others, as the post reveals…
I want you to know that you saved the life of a 60 year old man with a wife of 36 years, a daughter and 2 grandchildren. He received a kidney from Ian.
I want you to know that you saved the life of a 66 year old man with 3 children and 7 grandchildren. He received Ian’s other kidney.
I want you to know that you saved the life of a man in his 50s, who had already penned his own obituary when he received the call letting him know that he was going to get Ian’s liver. His obituary can wait; because of you, his story is not done.
I want you to know that you are the reason a newborn child received a desperately needed heart valve the day Ian left this world.
I want you to know that you’re the reason a young child will not go blind after all. Because of you, she received Ian’s corneas.
Ian may have died days after the accident but I want to make sure you know that it was the accident that killed Ian, full stop. And because of you, multiple lives were saved and/or dramatically improved.
Also because of you, my brother didn’t die alone on the side of a road, scared or in pain. Because of you, my brother died with me holding his hand, whispering how it was OK for him to go now. He was in no pain. He was surrounded by pure love. Because of you, I got to say goodbye.
If my brother were still here he would have long ago tried to track you down, and had you been receptive he would have gone to any lengths to buy you a beer and give you the warmest, most amazing hug you’ve ever received. That’s the kind of guy he was. I owe it to him and to you to try to do the same.
And get ready to get the tissues…
On a personal note, I want you to know that for a long time following the accident, you are the reason I woke up every morning and decided that on that particular day, I still wanted to be alive too. Because on so many days, the faith and love you gave me in and for humanity were the only things stronger than the devastation of what happened to me. And on those days I got up and I got through it. Because of you.
I’ve long thought it was unfair that you only knew Ian died, and nothing else. I’m sorry it took me this long to decide to write this and try and see if it could reach you. You deserve to know that you are a hero.
You are my hero.
I don’t know your name. I don’t know who you are. I don’t know if we have anything in common. But I want you to know, finally, that I love you.”
Graham added an update to her Facebook post:
“**I’m editing this to say: I found her and we’re in touch. Thank you. I’m beyond grateful and humbled that all of these people helped me so quickly and so effectively. I love you all, too. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.**”
A very sad story, but a timely reminder that there are still a lot of great people out there willing to put themselves in danger to help others in times of need.