Everybody keeps telling me I need to watch Bridgerton. My friends keep saying I need to watch Bridgerton. Targeted ads insist that I gotta check out Bridgerton.
TWITTER will not stop suggesting that I need to watch Bridgerton.
And yet this this weird ironic quality to all of those recommendations?
I’m confused. And I don’t like being told what to do. If I’m going to watch this show, I want that to feel like a decision I came to on my own.
So here’s an experiment – I am going to look at some popular Bridgerton tweets and try to determine, from the tweet alone, what’s happening in this show and whether I should watch it.
14. The Plot
What I surmise: there is a hot actor in this show.
Will that make me watch: maybe.
— Melek (@mlkysnrgr) December 26, 2020
What I surmise: this man killed someone named Lady Whistledown with his scarf.
Will that make me watch: no, spoilers.
— SueSueSuedio (@SoozieQ007) December 27, 2020
12. The Duke
What I surmise: Lady Danbury doesn’t like this Duke fella.
Will that make me watch: possibly, I love a good sass back.
— a hot villain (@lasolodrista) December 28, 2020
What I surmise: cake.
Will that make me watch: yes.
— ???? ?. ? (@iamwinchestered) December 27, 2020
What I surmise: bees symbolise bridges in this show, or something.
Will that make me watch: no, I am too dumb for symbolism.
— abbi (@angryabbi) December 27, 2020
What I surmise: in the land of Bridgerton, flowers defy the seasons.
Will that make me watch: ??
So many hot takes on #Bridgerton, but no-one's asking the obvious: How long is that wisteria going to stay in FULL bloom?
— Joanne Harris (@Joannechocolat) December 28, 2020
What I surmise: Eloise is homeschooled.
Will that make me watch: yes, I too was homeschooled.
— Maria? (@safetykathony) December 27, 2020
What I surmise: Anthony is a jealous lover.
Will that make me watch: no, I hate triangles of all varieties.
Any man: *looks at Daphne Bridgerton*
— Samantha Sophia (@RaisingSelf) December 28, 2020
What I surmise: there’s a lot of sex in this show.
Will that make me watch: yes, for I too enjoy the sex.
— claire? (@Claire_W1234) December 28, 2020
5. Episode three
What I surmise: fancy dresses.
Will that make me watch: yes, I need tips.
I have just hit episode three of Bridgerton, where a modiste — that’s a fancy dressmaker — scoffs about the upper-class women “simpering over their needlework, or whatsoever it is these debutantes must do to pass the time”.
MADAM YOU MAKE FANCY DRESSES! BY HAND!
— Olivia Waite (@O_Waite) December 27, 2020
What I surmise: “viscount” is a word, apparently.
Will that make me watch: yes, now I need to know what it means and how to pronounce it like a fancy boi.
Did you know how to pronounce viscount before watching Bridgerton?
— Ebuka Obi-Uchendu (@Ebuka) December 27, 2020
3. Glow stick
What I surmise: someone is injured.
Will that make me watch: maybe, it depends on how funny it is.
— lindsay (@richeclipsee) December 27, 2020
2. Hitting it off
What I surmise: this lady is some kind of matchmaker.
Will that make me watch: no, I don’t play with matches.
— Σ•고막 남친 조절⁺⁺ (@hileori) December 26, 2020
What I surmise: Simon has a weird member.
Will that make me watch: …yes.
— lauren (@lucifringe) December 26, 2020
Welp, guess I’m watching Bridgerton.
Have you seen it? What did you think? How much of that did I get right?
Tell us in the comments.