Some twitter jokes are so good they just keep popping up over and over again. You might say that history retweets itself. I mean, you shouldn’t say that. Because anyone who hears you will slap you right across the face. But you could. Because it’s true.
To illustrate what I’m talking about, here’s a collection of 10 classic and/or soon to be classic tweets that deserve a long legacy.
10. Just soak it all in
Me leaving a pan to soak after cooking knowing I have absolutely no intention of washing it pic.twitter.com/ROT1vTFlZv
— A$ (@AdamStobbart) October 22, 2018
9. Winnie the Ew
My son asked me
"Where does poo come from?"
I was a little uncomfortable but gave him an honest explanation.
He looked a little perplexed, and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"
— Zack Riley ?? (@ColdHeart_Prj) January 2, 2020
8. Also, there’s some cracks you might step on
BUILDING INSPECTOR: Well, you say you’ve kept everything up to code, but I’ve been speaking with your 4 year old and he informed me the floor is actually lava, which—I don’t need to tell you—is a pretty serious safety violation.
— MehGyver (@TheAndrewNadeau) April 23, 2018
7. She’s the opposite of Anakin
My daughter loves being buried up to her neck in sand at the beach. Her little face lights up when I come back to get her the next day.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 16, 2017
6. Gotta keep a pasta-tive outlook
This is the kind of positivity i needed to see today https://t.co/Q01fSpzamE
— Em (@EmilyBojic) June 22, 2018
5. I drink therefore I am
I'm giving up drinking for a month.
Sorry, bad punctuation.
I'm giving up. Drinking for a month.
— no one you know (@dafodil_daffy) December 20, 2019
4. We’re totally getting to it
>>> If a man says he'll fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every six months about it.
— Andrew Blum (@Blum2o) August 15, 2012
3. All dressed up to sell me car insurance
It looks like he’s wearing a gecko onesie!
— Sara Bitterman (@SaraBitterman1) April 4, 2020
2. Love me tenders
I hate when my Touch ID doesn’t work on my phone like c’mon you already know it’s me with a little chicken tenders grease
— Dalton (@TheDaltonHill) December 29, 2017
1. It’s part of being a groan-up
It's very hard to make friends as an adult because once you're an adult you've realized you hate everyone.
— maura quint (@behindyourback) February 9, 2016
Obviously, most of those belong in a museum. Which is why I’m campaigning for the next Indiana Jones adventure to be subtitled “…And The Bomb-Ass Like Ratio.”
Who’s your favorite person to follow on twitter?
Let us know in the comments.