The tweets keep on coming (so fast, y’all), so it’s understandable if you miss a great one here and there.
But if you want to make sure you’re up to date on the funniest, silliest, weirdest, and the rest, we’ve got you covered – we think the 10 below are can’t miss.
10. It’s okay to laugh, because she’s okay.
I was just tryin to show off the fit pic.twitter.com/9ZXnVcixvn
— ??????? (@bidohead) February 20, 2019
9. Get with the program, Mr. Know-It-All.
yo i hate honors college boys i just asked this guy “hey why aren’t koalas considered bears?” and he hits me with “they’re marsupials” shut up nerd the answer to the joke is “they don’t have the koalafications”
— claire the mitch marner stan (@clairedaniellem) July 22, 2018
8. I’ve never felt sorry for a centipede before now.
GOD: We shouldn't do this drunk
ANGEL: 10 lol
ANGEL *mouthful of pizza* 25
CENTIPEDE: *tearing up* stop giving me legs, I look stupid
GOD: ONE HUNDRED LOL
— Jon (@ArfMeasures) June 4, 2018
7. Yeah that’s probably not going to end well.
Cop: can I get your proof of insurance
High ass friend: pic.twitter.com/hGDEiR5hL8
— Fvckoff (@ortizx408) February 19, 2019
Reminder that the Los Angeles federal courthouse has a statue of Abraham Lincoln where he's a shirtless young stud suggestively tugging at his waistband like a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model: pic.twitter.com/32bjqEERYi
— Zack Stentz (@MuseZack) February 20, 2019
5. I mean they have places to go, too.
Holy f*ck this car on the highway in front of us is packed with sheep pic.twitter.com/wRYCpKNnp2
— late nite apples (@kittyballball) February 20, 2019
4. Give him some privacy, yeesh.
"So what would you have done if i wasn't on that leash?" pic.twitter.com/ceDhlaSniq
— Dec. 17th?? (@JarrodTheLord) February 19, 2019
3. Have given birth, can’t argue.
Please sign my petition to rename giving birth “going number 3”
— angry wet spider (@birdbutterer) February 19, 2019
2. To think I could have gone my entire life and never known this existed.
TRUE FACT OF THE DAY: When falcon breeders want to breed falcons, they wear special falcon s^x hats. The hat encourages the falcon to shag the breeder's head and collects the falcon sperm, which can then be artificially inseminated.
I'll say that again: FALCON s^x HATS. pic.twitter.com/tKy0FXP9Mk
— RedScharlach (@redfacts) February 19, 2019
1. I don’t see how anyone could argue with this logic.
If You See Something (a dog wearing a tie), Say Something ("hello handsome").
— ♥ mark ♥ (@markedly) February 20, 2019
Did you love these? I know they hit a sweet spot for me today!
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