And just like that, I got ghosted.
What a sh^tty feeling. It’s experiencing rejection at its best, and it happens to the best of us. When you suddenly realize that you’ve been ghosted, it hits you like a ton of bricks right where it hurts the most. Your ego.
Let’s be honest, and it hurts your heart too. Sometimes, but only sometimes, you kind of sort of expect it. Deep down, all the red flags are waving, but you’re already so invested on your idea that this might be the one, that you refuse to listen to your instinct and plunge right into uncharted territory.
You engulf yourself with the excitement of finally clicking with someone physically and emotionally. The thrills is way too intense to ignore and you completely surrender in every way to the experience. You 100% percent feel that you’re both on the same page, why shouldn’t you? They showed you how much they loved showering you with attention and spending time with you, and after all, actions speak louder than words, right? Wrong!
Then it happens, Poof!. They’re gone, out of nowhere, completely and unequivocally gone.
At first, you find every excuse in the book to not accept the reality, but after you come to terms with it, all that you can possibly utter is, f*ck! The empty feeling in the pit of your stomach takes care of the rest, and that is, feeling like a worthless piece of sh^t to the core.
Your self-stem disappears as quickly as they did, and you’re left asking yourself a million questions that will never get answered, and torturing yourself trying to find a way to get some sort of closure. It’s heartbreaking, sort of degrading and devastating.
You can totally move on, but that’s not even the point. The point is why would someone be so heartless and cold to disregard a human being in such a way?
Being ghosted was a hard pill to swallow. I eventually got over it, but it left me bitter if I’m completely honest. It wasn’t until somehow I ended up ghosting someone, that I finally understood that when it was done to me, it truly didn’t have anything to do with me personally. Still rude, and uncalled for, but nothing personal. At least not as personal as I took it.
Maybe I did it because I was still bitter from when I got ghosted, but I’d like to think that I’m better than that. I don’t want to justify my actions, it’s still sh^tty to behave that way. I went for it though, and my thinking then was that it’s just how dating works in the modern world. You just jump on board with whatever is trending. Somehow, that makes it okay to behave poorly, I guess.
The truth is, dating has turned into an emotional roulette game. If you’re single you just do what everyone does to meet people, and get some action in the dating pool. You sign up to every dating app and hope for the best. There’s just way too much too handle all at once; the opening lines, the anticipation, disappointments, drama. You’re talking, dating and hooking up with a bunch of people at once just to hope for that one that will stick. You gotta look out for your heart, so you can’t possibly have the time and energy to look out for someone else’s emotions. Ghosting as harsh as it may be, it’s the quickest, most effective tool of funneling your dating options. Sounds harsh, but it’s a game you have to be willing to accept if you’re currently single and looking for the one.
You gotta have thick skin and roll with the emotional punches. You can’t keep tabs of people’s lives, and you have to fall in love with yourself first to have the independence and self-esteem to handle rejection.
You can only hope and trust that you’ll eventually find someone worthy of your time, love and affection. Be ready to be ghosted at least once, and when you do, just brush it off and move on. Nobody but you knows your worth, so trust it and hold on to it. Being ghosted doesn’t have to determine your ability to love or be loved.