“I’m sorry that I sometimes feels not worthy of your love, but when you give someone everything, and they throw it away, something inside of you breaks”
From the bottom of my heart I want to apologize in advance for the emotional scars that prevent me from surrendering to your heart. It’s not premeditated or intentional, it’s just how my heart is wired after it’s been torn apart a few times in the past.
There’s nothing more that I want in the world than to erase the shadows that make me hold back, and not trust your tender touch. I know that it may seem illogical, unfair and radical. I can only hope that you can be understanding, patient and gentle with my sensitive and injured soul.
Even though I can rationally understand that your actions speak love, my wounded heart can’t help but run away at the slightest sight of emotional attachment. It hides away and do whatever it takes to protect me from another heartbreak.
I don’t want to miss out on true love. I don’t want to think that I’m not meant to experience you and us. Because it feels so right when I allow myself, even if just for a moment, to fully experience happiness next to you. Why is it that something that feels so beautiful and sublime, can also be so terrifying for my sensitive heart? Am I just not wired for love?
Trust issues consume my soul, trust me, I know. And I’m sorry that sometimes I might not be strong enough to battle my demons. I know how detrimental it is for me and you to live like this, so I will fight hell for us. I want to believe that true love can conquer all, including my belief of being damaged goods and not being good enough for you.
I’m not a hopeless soul, it’ll just take some time, reassurance, and self-love to get over my fear of getting hurt. Please believe that I’m working on it. Deep down I know that it’s not all lost, something in me is fighting hard to wisely reconnect with the innocence that I once had.
I apologize in advance for being such a wreck when it comes to allowing you to love me, but I can promise you this. I won’t give up on you. I refuse to give up on myself and my heart and miss out on loving you as hard and as pure as I know that you’re capable of loving me.
I’ll take as many steps I have to take to arrive to your arms fully committed to our love. The first step I’ll take today is to believe that our love has the power to mend my brokenness.
‘The funny thing about the heart is a soft heart is a strong heart, and a hard heart is a weak heart”