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Buckle up, cause we’re gonna dive into some wild stories today. This avalanche of weird began when used sybaritic_footstool took to r/AskReddit and asked:
To the surprise of nobody, there were a huge pool of responses. So many, in fact, that it’s hard to decide which ones to showcase. Here are just 10 of the slightly longer stories, with suggested titles should they ever get optioned for books or movies (call me, Hollywood.)
1. The Story of M
I was at a friend’s birthday party for her dog (probably was just an excuse to have people over and get drunk) and another friend, let’s call her M, is also there. I had known M for a couple of years, but I only really ever see her a couple of times a year. She is very drunk, and also very married. Her husband was also at the same party.
At one point in the night, she asks me if I have a girlfriend (I did not), if I am looking for a girlfriend, where i’d been looking for a girlfriend, etc. Then she says that I had been looking in all the wrong places and that, if I wanted a good girl, I should “let her know”.
During this conversation, she also kept trying to grab my hand, and so at one point i made sure to always be holding a handful of mini-pretzels in both of my hands as a sort of excuse to not be able to hold hands. I can’t hold hands if I am holding pretzels. Logic.
Then finally she says “I like you, iseldomwipe. I really like you”. I’m like “ok”. This repeats for a while until she says “stop saying ‘ok’. It makes me feel like You think I’m bullshitting”
Then she keeps following me around the room and keeps trying to make me dance with her until I leave.
Her husband was pretty much always in the same room as us no more than a few feet away while this was all happening. Thought I was crazy and imagining it all until another friend asked me on the same night as we were leaving: “Was M trying to hit on you?”
2. Getting a Head
Girl in my dorm. She had a crush on my roommate. My roommate clearly didn’t like and told her several times. Things got out of hand and there were times where my roommate would come running back to the room yelling “lock the door, lock the door” and moments later the girl and her friend would try to come barge in without permission.
What’s creepy is this next part.
Apparently one night we accidentally left our room unlocked and she decided to sneak in and play/rub our heads. We didn’t wake up but her roommate told us what she did a couple days later. I haven’t seen her in about a year and I’m quite glad.
3. Kicked to the Curb
This younger girl who I never even spoke to once in high school had a crush on me. I got a note from her in my locker asking if I wanted to go out with her. I had no idea of how to get it back to her, so I just wrote “no” and taped it to my locker. Then she started following me everywhere. I would try to talk to her, but she would just keep walking away, pretending I wasn’t talking to her.
This goes on for like two years. Then I was hanging out by myself one day around the neighborhood, and she comes walking up with three guys who wanted to kick my ass for some dumb unrelated stuff. She somehow found out about it and brought them to me. After an embarrassing scene with me diffusing the situation with these angry gentlemen, they leave, and she finally sits down on the curb right next to me and starts flirting.
All I could do was just stare at her enormous bangs with a WTF expression until she got embarrassed and left.
4. Knife to Meet You
During my last year of high school I would tutor students after school. One day about halfway through the year a new girl came in and sat next to me.
The first thing she said was something along the lines of “Do you wanna see my birth control?” She had an implant in her arm and showed me where it was. She then felt my arm and told me I was hairy.
For the rest of the time she kept prying for personal info like who my friends were and where I lived. I didn’t see her in tutoring after that, but one day during lunch she came up to my table where I was just chatting with my friends and inserted herself into the conversation before leaving randomly.
I heard a few days later that she was suspended for either having drugs or a knife in her backpack.
I was 22 and asked a girl I’d met out. She seemed nice at first. Met her in a little cafe while I was waiting to meet some friends and we got talking about Pokemon and some other stuff for 20 or 30 minutes before adding each other on facebook. Only weird thing was that in that time she told me she’d been raped by her ex.
I thought maybe she was just being open about it as a way of dealing with the trauma so I let it slide and messaged her a bit later to see if she’d be interested in a date. She told me that she already had a boyfriend but that she’d love to hang out as friends which was fair enough so I agreed to that and we met up a few days later.
She’d brought her boyfriend with her which I expected. I got the sense he wasn’t too comfortable with me which I can understand but what threw me was she also brought her ex. I can’t 100% say it was the same ex she’d mentioned but he really gave off that vibe with the way he talked and behaved around her.
She kept on talking about dead babies and abortions obsessively as well. You couldn’t change the subject at all. Creeped me the hell out so I just sat there with a smile and acted civil while internally going “please don’t kill me!” and I haven’t spoken to her since.
Not so much as the girl herself but her mom. I dated this girl back in high school and I went over to her house a few times just to hang out and such. But her mom made me incredibly uncomfortable by asking a billion different questions about my past relationships, my intentions with her daughter, even when i last looked at porn. Etc. Etc.
She had to be in the same room as us at all times. She also had complete control over my girlfriends phone as well so she monitored every single message her and i sent back and forth.
Obviously due to this, that relationship didn’t last long.
7. Poker Night
Took her out on a date. We got drunk. Breaks down saying how she used fentanyl with her ex and ended up in hospital. Now she has to use a catheter and bag for the rest of her life as it fucked up her urinary system. She was screaming “I have a drug induced bladder disorder”!!!! She is 23. Cried, tried to get me to finger her beside the catheter. Wasn’t feeling it..
Then decided I was the enemy and called cops saying I am assaulting her. I recorded her as she went apeshit calling me names. Cops show up. She is having some sort of mental breakdown. She ends up transported to a psych observation unit at 1 am. Ended up playing poker.
Couple of days later she texts me and asks, “wanna hang out?”
8. The Big It
A random guy at the bar called her friend a slut and ran off. I guess I looked enough like him, so I got three haymakers to the face. I managed to avoid boxing a female in a public bar, which was my goal, and things seemed to subside.
She later cornered me in the shitter, it was a single person shitter, I guess I forgot to lock the door. I was informed that I should leave with her and got back to her place or I would be accused of some pretty heinous shit. The bartender, saw her on the prowl and sent the bouncer after. He told her to fuck off and not come back.
On her way out, things got racial. Big words were flying. I was an n-word lover. There were sand-n-words everywhere. All of us were remanded to the countries of our origin.
She was waiting on the street when I left and tried to follow me, but I just jogged away and she tripped and started crying. It was tragic, yet also funny.
9. Baby Crazy
The one and only time I used tinder, I hooked up with this girl in Arkansas. The sex only lasted until she begged me to come inside her, which is a hot thing to hear I guess, but not from someone you just met. I told her “I’m not gonna do that” and she pushes me off and starts crying, saying things like “I just want baby so someone will love me”. I felt kinda bad for her so I talked her down, bought her some food, and she thanked me and went home.
Nothing too weird about that, I just figured she was going through a rough time, it happens. Until about a week later I come home from work and my front door is open.
It looked like someone tried to yank it off the hinges. Then I noticed her car parked across the street. This little psycho had gotten shit face drunk, drove to my house, BROKE IN, and was sleeping naked in my bed.
Cops were called and she panicked and left. Don’t know what happened to her after that, but I sure as fuck never used Tinder again.
10. Liar, Liar 2
dated a girl who was close with her cousin. i slowly learned everyone hated her cousin and they were afraid to tell me to avoid the girl/cousin combo, because it was no good. kept dating the girl, and cousin started be around more…it was fine at first and then the lying started. never in my life had i met a compulsive liar before, so i couldn’t believe that no one was saying anything when this girl blatantly lied. crazy lies. insane lies that made no sense. non-stop, constant, really weird lies. “i once fell out of an airplane” level lies.
it got worse. i told girl i don’t want to be around cousin anymore. girl understands. cousin gets my number and then calls/texts me saying she just drove by my friends house and girl was there. she’s cheating on me, cousin says. cousin lives 45 minutes away and would never be driving near my friend’s house. i tell her never communicate with me again. she says “but i thought we were friends”
block number. dump girl. run away.
Reading through all of those stories has made me want to go buy some extra locks for my doors.
While I’m doing that, what are your “creepy girl” stories?
Share them in the comments.