What a strange and very specific need. How does that even happen? Somebody should write a research paper about you. But we’re not here to judge, and actually we’ve got plenty of tweets to share, so you’ve come to the right place to get your fix!
Here are ten delightful tweets to get you going today.
10. I beg your Parton
An absolute legend, and still out there killing it.
Dolly Parton, 1976.
She wrote Jolene and I Will Always Love You on the same day.
ON THE SAME DAY. pic.twitter.com/rasfA0lbQU
— Eric Alper ? (@ThatEricAlper) March 18, 2019
9. Mouthing off
It’s cool, I’ll just slowly self destruct the way God intended.
Rise and grind (your teeth into nubs, because you have severe anxiety that you refuse to address)!
— Emily Murnane (@emily_murnane) July 8, 2020
8. Conversation confusion
Whoa whoa whoa, didn’t know I was gonna get grilled like this today.
person: how are you?
me: i literally have no idea
— Ronja ?? (@rooonjay) November 19, 2015
7. Money on my mind
My lucky number is this routing address.
My love language is direct deposit.
— ? (@chicageaux_) August 25, 2016
6. Taste the painbow
All except the green ones, those are the embodiment of evil.
If stress eating skittles doesn’t solve the problem then I guess I’m out of ideas.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 25, 2020
5. It’s not working out
Sweat pants are for sweating, nobody said anything about exercise.
I own a lot of workout pants for someone who just eats all day
— Anna (@AnnaDoesntWant2) February 10, 2020
4. Recent developments
Getting those pictures really helps you get the picture.
I love waking up after a fun night to go through pictures and wonder if anyone is mad at me
— Amanda Gail (@the_amanda_gail) June 28, 2020
3. Sometimes why
This joke is older than the internet and its continued existence delights and infuriates me.
I'm close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don't know Y. ?
— Mrs. Kasha Davis (@KashaDavis) July 9, 2016
2. Fragile thing
This poor soul has been waiting for eighteen minutes now. It’s inhuman.
please sir, she needs shredded cheese for her fajitas pic.twitter.com/yXZLjKjPCS
— adam (@burgerkrang) June 28, 2020
1. The internet creed
All rise to recite Twitter’s national anthem.
I'd rather be a little bit weird than boring
— Lindsey (@LindseyAndrew1) February 21, 2013
There ya go. I hope that whatever condition requires regular intake of tweets on your part has been satiated and that you can now proceed safely through the rest of the day. Should you need further assistance, be sure to visit us again soon, there’s plenty more where those came from.
Who are your favorite people on Twitter right now?
Tell us who to follow in the comments.