Look at you, you look absolutely famished for entertainment. Poor dear. Come on in and let us serve you up a nice hot bowl of funny tweets. You need a few of these every day to stimulate your growth and make you tall.

Let these random Twitter nuggets be chicken soup to your online soul.

14. Let’s get this bread

Nothing’s gonna make me drop my croissant.

13. Count me in

There are too few Oscars in here.

12. He doth protest too much

Yeah, you witnessed a murder.

11. Owl be back

Gotta show ’em what the pecking order is.

10. Fly by night

Don’t even mention the sun around my skin.

9. Don’t make a stink

This is the life, I guess?


8. Role reversal

I think this is gonna tell her a lot more about you, actually.


7. Spill the tea

Welcome to Wonderland, Barbara.

6. Hard to swallow

Aaaaaand it’s 4:00am.

5. Big decisions

It’s not a sale, dude.

4. Boxed in

Enter at your own peril.

3. Earthquake


2. Making friends

I thought this was banned by the Geneva Convention?

1. What is IT?

They all float up there…

Don’t forget to get your daily dose of Twitter. If not here, from somewhere. It’s important. It’s for your health. Four out of five doctors would recommend it if they weren’t too distracted scrolling through their feeds. And that fifth doctor? Well that one just plain shouldn’t be listened to.

Who are your favorite people on Twitter right now?

Tell us in the comments.