Relationships are tough, especially in this modern world, but as Elaine Benes once said, “I can’t be with someone who doesn’t break up nicely. It’s one of the most important parts of the relationship!”
If you can’t exit a relationship with the same kind of grace you stepped into it, you’ll likely be relegated to “crazy ex” status – something these 15 people know all too well (though they probably wish they didn’t).
15. I am flabbergasted.
He said his ex had passed away from breast cancer, but that to save him from hurt… she’d broken up with him under the guise that she’d gotten drunk and slept with another guy.
Nope. She definitely cheated and she was very much alive and well. This was just one of the many lies he fed me, but this was an absolute mind fuck.
14. That ending, though.
When I was 20 I had been living with my best mate for 18 months and her bf, who turned out to be a horrendous slob, moved in and packed the house full of stuff. He was 30 and in a bit of a rough spot between jobs because he got caught stoned at work. I’ve no bother with stoners but he worked on a high reach forklift in our cities busiest warehouse think 4 acres of floor space 12m high racking with 24 hour shifts and a couple dozen forklifts constantly running.
6 months after he moved in she finally got sick of begging him to sort out his stuff and started tidying and organizing, she threw away a shopping bag of old takeaway rubbish and the only other thing that went in there was bits of a broken disc on the floor of the garage where more of his stuff was stored.
When he got home he went mental! We had a handful of friends around and he stormed in and threw a munched up rental PlayStation game case on the table an screamed at her in front of everyone about how he hadn’t finished the game and how he couldn’t return it to the rental store now and she had no right to touch his stuff! He’d show her how it felt when people didn’t care about your things!
He went to the driveway, we had waist high fences and our driveway was only about 5m long, jumped into the roof of her car and peed on it while continuing to rave about respecting other people’s things.
13. That is not normal behavior.
Accused me of having an STI and then wouldn’t tell me what she saw and where. Did I mention that she got angry at me for seeing a doctor that weekend to get checked out?
12. How was she going to have a child without you, though?
She tried to sacrifice me to a god of the sea (?) so she could have a child
11. Of course it was awful music.
He dumped me and told me he never really loved me. He “always struggled between love and lust”. A self proclaimed philosopher who was making music on sound cloud. Awful music btw, he never played an instrument in his life. Kept having sex cause I was in love still, used me to smoke in my friends garage, and then two days after I was raped, he said he wasn’t going to be my friend anymore because I called him an asshole when he kept giving unsolicited advice on the way to an interview and pumping my anxiety up right before and continued afterwards. He said I was using him for his car after this argument. Also said “I dont care about your anxiety” the entire relationship. What a fuckin psycho.
10. At six in the morning on a work day. Whew.
My ex had a crazy ex.
On a couple of occasions, he bought the same ticket to the theater as we did then proceed to eat at the same restaurant as we did. Both time he was alone and got a table where he would be facing us.
Somehow he got my number and told me to break up with her because he still loves her. Called on several occasions to talk to her because she had blocked his number.
Went to her parent’s house to ask her parents for their blessings then the following day proposed to her at six in the morning on a work day.
9. It surely scared somebody off.
She was scared of a van parked outside her apt. window and there men inside the van that were survailing her. So for her protection she brought a male friend over and sucked his dick. The next morning was valentine’s day. She went on to blow up my phone from a blocked number for the next 6 months.
8. No one wants the icing on that cake.
She started a fight because I packed the groceries into the car (little bit of a control freak) while she was on the phone. The entire drive I just said ” let it go” and “drop it” and “take a few minutes to calm down, if you still feel like talking about it when we get to the apartment, we can talk about it then when we’re not so emotional.” She continued to natter on.
When we got to the apartment, I told her to stop the car, that I was going to get out and walk through the parking lot and I’d meet her at the apartment to unload groceries. She stopped the car and I undid my seatbelt, opened the door, and swung my legs out. My arm was still through the seatbelt and my feet were touching the ground (Hyundai Tiburon, low ground clearance) and I leaned forward to stand up out of the car when she gunned it. The door started swinging shut on my legs and I pushed out with my arms to keep the door open when we hit a speed bump which threw me out of the car (being off balanced). I barely managed to clear my arm from the seatbelt as I got away from the car and slid about 5 feet across asphalt.
I laid there for a minute, trying to figure out what had happened, where my glasses were, and why my entire body felt like it was on fire. I stood up, she was down at the other end of the parking lot in front of the apartment. I had road rash from my shoulder down just below my waistline across my back, both forearms looked like a cheese grater had gone over them. I limped down to where she was parked and got there in time to hear her talking on the phone… with my mother (I was in my 30s at this point), telling her that “he just went crazy and jumped out of the car and went running off, I have no idea where he is. We might have to call police to find him” while she was looking right at me.
Icing on the cake? She approached me at a bar a few weeks later (no idea how she knew I was there, I sure as shit didn’t tell her) and demanded that we “work things out, because I don’t want it to be over.” It got so bad that the bouncers escorted her out. She tried it again a few months after that, different bar, where I was at with friends and (my now) wife. That was the last I heard of her…
7. Why on earth would anyone do that, indeed?
My ex kind of just invited herself to live with me. One morning I had to go to class so I left while she was still asleep. Im in class and she tells me she “can’t believe I left her and that she’s very upset with me.” I told her I have the same class every week and school is a priority to me. Shortly after I send that she tells me she peed in my trashcan. Originally I didn’t believe it because why the fuck would anyone do that. I got to my room and the smell just blasted my nostrils. It was disgusting and she just laid in bed and pretended like it wasn’t the most putrid smell in existence.
6. Keeping tabs. File a restraining order.
Dated this guy for a year, turns out he was a psychopath + narcissist. he broke up with me in a very brutal way for no reason. I found someone else who’s way better and perfect for me soon after, since then he won’t leave me alone accusing my current bf of cheating and threatening to blackmail us saying that he has proof my current bf has “harassed girls”. He also does this thing acting like different people on text messages when he texts by faking personalities and names and such. I block him and he gets new numbers to text off of. He’s currently texting my sister telling her that he wants be back and spewing bs about how he misses me. It’s been 2 years since we broke up and I’ve tried my very best to keep away and avoid contact with him at all costs. Me and my ex live in completely different city’s but some of his friends on my college campus have even tried talking to me to see if I’d take him back. My ex has openly admitted to “keeping tabs” on me and my bf and what’s going on in my life. It’s honestly creepy. Wonder when he’s gonna give up..
5. These two things seem to oddly go together well.
She threatened during an argument once to deform our unborn child by intentionally smoking and drinking Pepsi while pregnant. She also thought I had Donald Trump’s personal phone number for some reason
4. That is extremely creepy and weird.
The short and sweet version? He never confronted his father for demanding to see half naked photos of me. He then lectured me about my reaction to the situation.
3. That’s one way to kill a conversation.
“Oh I hate the Catholic Church.”
“They killed my husband.”
“You were married?”
“During the Crusades.”
2. Thank goodness she stood her ground.
He went out to the bar on his 21st birthday. I was 19 so I went to bed in his room. Woke up when he got back and started fooling around. He tried to have unprotected sex with me, like, really made it clear he didn’t want to use a condom, and I said no. He proceeded to go to sleep and I assumed he was just being a drunk idiot. I woke up the next morning and as we were laying in bed talking, he said he wanted me to have his babies. We’d been dating for less than a month. Then he broke up with me three weeks later. It was so bizarre. He also texted me “I miss you” right after I got engaged, 6 years later. I told him the feeling wasn’t mutual and haven’t spoken to him since.
1. I have questions about the shorts thing.
tried to cut a chunk of her tongue out so she would look like a snake, lying that my best friend (who is a gay guy) tried to kiss her, beat me up for wearing shorts, said she was cheating on me with a BTS member and she hit my cat.
I continue to be stunned by the gall of some (too many) people!
Are you someone’s crazy ex? What did you do to learn your title? We want to hear about it in the comments?