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Sometimes people try to defend their racist, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, and/or xenophobic comments by claiming the comments were “just a joke” and why aren’t you laughing?

It’s annoying, because most of us don’t know how exactly to reply in the moment, so we just let it go.

But Twitter user Heather Thompson Day has some advice on how to handle the situation smoothly (if you want to call them out, which you should).

She also got some great advice from her pops!

Other women have chimed in to share what they’re thinking in those moments and how they handle it, too, and to be honest, any of them would work.

Ahhhh, racism…

Ahhhh, sexism…

And it’s really about being direct. Very direct.

And ALWAYS ask people to explain… because they can’t. Ever.

It shuts them right the hell up!

It’s not that I want someone to be a j^rkto me anytime soon, but I’m kind of looking forward to being armed and dangerous when it inevitably does happen again.

How do you handle these situations? And tips and tricks of your own?

We’d love to hear them! Tell us in the comments!