I don’t know if you’re ready to get this news or not but um…there are single people on the internet and they have a lot of opinions about that. I know, I know, it’s shocking information and a lot to take in, but I have it on good authority that it’s true. From dating apps to relationship statuses to pretty much any corner of the net where anyone can whine, people are here to LET YOU KNOW that they are SINGLE and they have THOUGHTS ON THAT.
Take for instance these 10 tweets from REAL LOCAL SINGLES IN YOUR AREA!*
*I don’t know where they are, I’m not a creep.
10. Two for one
Plus you get twice the cool-side action.
The best thing about being single is that I get to cry into two pillows instead of one.
— Spanky McDutcherson ? (@thatdutchperson) January 21, 2020
9. Deal with it
This is what I call a slice of life story.
Best thing about being single: ordering pizza and not having to share
Better thing about being single: ordering 2 pizzas because there is a deal and not having to share ?
— LucindaLove (@LucindaTwitch) January 4, 2020
8. Unfolding events
We all just need to ask somebody, I guess.
I don’t understand why my friends ask me for relationship advice. If I knew what I was doing I wouldn’t be sleeping next to my unfolded laundry.
— Arielle Mulgrew (@ArielleNotAriel) January 29, 2019
7. Love me tinder
Dating app developers hate him for this one weird trick.
new tinder idea: upload all my photos upside down so girls turn their phone to look at them, obviously realise am ugly and swipe left but of course that's now actually right bing bang boom match
— ethan (@human_dis4ster) July 21, 2018
6. All my troubles seem so far away
This is a fool-proof plan and I fully support it.
Fall in love with your problems
Maybe they will leave u too ?
— Bloh_ssom? (@Your_sweetgurl) March 25, 2020
5. Bowl me over
But do you remember it, though?
i would say the best part of being single is that now i can listen to beyoncé without someone saying “hey do you remember when she tripped at the super bowl?” every time i press play
— the blowout (@theblowout) May 5, 2020
4. Best of the worst
I know a lot of couples who haven’t been able to get away from each other for 5 months who might disagree.
Can we at least all agree that this is the worst time in United States history to be single?
— Erica Rhodes (@ericarhodes) June 3, 2020
3. A courageous glance
You’re flirting with destiny now.
My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping that they're braver than me…
— eoin (@aksjfhksadfhkas) February 23, 2012
2. Forever home boy
Mr. Poofers can hear you, JESSICA.
Someone asked me if I'm ever scared that I'll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my dog was RIGHT THERE.
— Pin Up Teacher (@pinupteacher) December 7, 2014
1. Punctuate your point
We’re not gonna connect if you don’t come correct.
him: your single? why?
— Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) May 3, 2015
At least those thoughts are pretty funny. If it takes single-hood to create that kind of comedy, then I say let us all be single forever!
Are you single? How do you feel about it?
Vent in the comments.