The subreddit r/AmItheas$hole takes the concept of the court of public opinion to a whole new level. Each post describes a person’s situation, and asks the jury (whomever happens to be bored and browsing Reddit at the moment) to rule on whether or not they are, in fact, The as$hole.
Often times, the judgement is overwhelmingly to one side. But now and then, a truly divisive case comes along, that confounds even the brightest of Reddit’s citizens. Such was the case with user p*opgloves, who presumably created his account specifically to…ask about his p*op gloves.
He begins:
AITA for bringing my poop gloves when I moved in with my girlfriend and wanting to keep them?
Hi everyone. This is so dumb and weird so apologies in advance.
I’ve been with my girlfriend for just over a year now. Let’s call her Sophie because this is kind of weird and she won’t want me using her real name. She’s amazing and we’re very happy and we just moved into together. We’ve been living in a flat for just over a week now.
Living together has been fun but we’re learning a lot about eachother let’s just say? Anyway, today she came out of the bathroom and said “Hey, what’s with the marigolds in the bathroom? They’re always there, are they yours?”
So without thinking I said “Yeah, don’t touch them, they’re my poop gloves.”
She said “Your fucking what.”
Some context. These are a pair of yellow cleaning gloves (the types you’d wash your dishes with) that I keep on the highest shelf in the bathroom, she can’t even reach it. I’ve had them, and other pairs, for a lot of my life. I put them on every time I go to the toilet.
She was really horrified when I explained what they are. My hands get really dry and I have eczema, so it’s not good for me to be washing them all the time. When I was younger they would crack and bleed after washing them, so my Mum bought me some gloves and told me to wear them when I wee/poo, and take them off before I leave. I called them my Poop Gloves and the name stuck.
Sophie is disgusted that I don’t wash my hands. She doesn’t want them in the house, but it’s something I’ve always done and I really can’t be arsed with getting back eczema again. I think she’s being unreasonable.
TLDR: I have special gloves that I put on when I use the bathroom so I odn’t have to wash my hands. My girlfriend doesn’t want them in the house but it means I’ll get eczema. AITA for wanting to keep them?
There’s a lot to unpack here. And unpack Reddit did, with over 1,000 comments all over the spectrum of support/condemnation.
1. Some responses were quite sympathetic
NAH. [No A-holes here] While your reasoning is understandable it’s still highly unsanitary to keep and repeatedly use a pair of gloves. Every time you put them on, you’re touching them, and they are potentially p*opy. Then they are stored in your bathroom. I understand her being grossed out.
My suggestion would be to get disposable gloves. A box should last quite a while unless you p*op multiple times a day.
– AutoModerator
2. A lot of people had similar experiences
I don’t have eczema, but I was recently traveling in a desert and my hands were utterly murdered by the dryness.
It seriously hurt to wash my hands every time I went to the bathroom. It was pure hell.
If that’s your life 24/7, then you keep those damn p*op gloves and use them proudly.
– fysu
3. Or had loved ones in the same boat
My husband has terrible eczema and has to be careful how often he gets his skin wet repeatedly. He doesn’t use gloves for the bathroom (but all day at work) but I can completely understand why you do. Quite smart of your mom. If my husband wanted to try this, I would fully support him.
You’ve already said you wash them the same way you’d wash your hands afterward, so what’s the issue? It’s ok to touch skin but not gloves that have had identical washing? People are acting like you don’t use toilet paper. How often does anyone really get their hands that messy and yet we still always wash?
[…]Totally NTA [Not The as$hole] – keep yourself healthy
– JennieGee
4. Others…weren’t having it
YTA [You’re The as$hole] – I’ve also suffered from bad hand eczema, and this is not a good solution.
Go to the dermatologist and get them to actually prescribe medication for it – I suffered for like 6 months before having it go away in 2 weeks with steroid cream.
Also advice per the dermatologist – use hand sanitizer instead of soap, it won’t irritate your hands in the same way.
– HowsYourGirlfriend
5. And pointed out that doctors exist
Omg gross I have the same problem and I fix it BY TALKING TO DOCTORS and USING LOTION.
Try aquaphore (petroleum with lanolin) or another waterless oil with lanolin (I use chapstick when out).
– weesheep
6. Obviously, there were a lot of concerns about sanitation
INFO: [Not Enough Info] you can’t moisturize or take medications? This sounds v unsanitary
– peachesbones
7. At least one user saw this as a simple branding issue
Just a suggestion: I think it’s time to rename the p*op Gloves.
– abacus5555
8. And one response was simply inevitable…
Now I wonder how many people use plastic disposable knives for their p*op knife instead of one knife they repeatedly wash.
– Wonderpuff
“Poop Knife,” of course, refers to another infamous bathroom-related Reddit post on r/confession – if you liked this discussion, you should hold your breath and check that one out too.
What do you think of p*op gloves?
What do I think about it being part of my actual job to type that sentence out?
Let’s talk about it in the comments.