What do men want? Or more specifically, what do men want you to know? That’s the question that was posed on a very popular thread in r/AskReddit:
Men of Reddit, what is the hardest thing to explain to a woman?
Nearly twenty thousand answers poured in. Here are some of the most popular:
1. It’s not just a punchline.
I had to tell my ex wife that I had erectile dysfunction. I had gone to the doctors that day because we have had complications while having s*x for the last few months, I was extremely shocked to hear I had ED. Now I’ll say this for my wife s*x was one of the main reasons she was in the marriage, she had (and I’m sure she still does) a very high libido and we would have s*x upwards of 3 times a week, when I got back home I told her I needed to speak with here about something.
She asked “what was it?”. And then I told her I had erectile dysfunction. She then started to cry and when I tried to comfort her she got extremely pissed, slapped me and yelled at me that she wanted a divorce. And so we went through with it, however, since then I’ve gotten treatment and I can still get a hard-on and not only that I am happily married once again with 2 children.
2. Let’s get into it.
If we’re talking how difficult it is for guys to break out of the “real men don’t talk about feelings” bubble, it’s not a case of “just talk to me” many of us are conditioned to bottle things up until it explodes and we break a bone doing something stupid.
We can work on it, deal with it, but its a process and its really difficult to even talk about because there’s always a voice inside somewhere telling you that it makes you “weak”, even with the self awareness that you know its bullsh*t.
3. Silence isn’t anger.
I’m not angry, I just don’t have anything to say.
4. Sometimes we just want quiet.
That I just want to stay in and chill this weekend, after a stressful week at work.
5. If you wanna communicate, communicate.
Hints don’t work.
Just tell us what’s up
6. Expression is gonna vary.
Just because I don’t have tears running down my face doesn’t mean I’m not as sad as you.
7. Sometimes you gotta get away.
Something that has sadly been very relevant to me recently. When I tell you that I go for walks and drives to clear my head, that DOES NOT MEAN that I despise you.
I can’t sit and watch TV mindlessly, but I need to be engaged in something to kinda open up the channel for everything to flow through it again.
However I am well aware of a sad reality were guys use this as means to go and cheat on their good ladies.
Thankfully once people get to know me they know I am a big car guy / love walks and hikes.
8. Nothing means nothing.
That “Nothing” is a perfectly legitimate answer to ” What are you thinking?” And “What are you doing?” And “What do you want to do on your day off?”.
9. We want to feel wanted too.
I don’t always want to be the one that initiates sex.
It makes me feel like a creep.
10. Don’t punish feelings.
When I talk about my feelings I want to be heard, understood and something to change. When we fight about my feelings it only makes me repress those feelings.
11. Please don’t make assumptions.
If you wanna know why I did something, ask me.
Instead of making up a reason in your head and then believing it.
12. Everybody digs a compliment.
We like affection and warmth and flattery sometimes too – not just sex.
13. We don’t have super hearing.
Talking to me while you’re in another room and then getting mad that I haven’t heard a word of what you were saying is profoundly annoying.
14. We’re approachable, promise.
Guys rarely get compliments or ladies making the first move.
Thus we really appreciate it when a lady makes the effort to approach us
15. We’re starvin’ over here.
I am really hungry.
Just pick a place.
I guess what it boils down to is that most men just want to feel like they’re being believed when they tell you something, and want to believe you when you tell them something. Not too complicated. Straightforward communication is key!
What would your answer to this question be?
Tell us in the comments.