The internet is a place for arguing. Whether it’s about hot-button political/social issues, or pop culture debates on art and literature, or just endless subtweeting for the sake of drama. If it’s on the internet, people are fighting about it on the internet. Internet fights are the most prevalent thing since sliced bread. And internet fights ABOUT sliced bread – well they’re in a class of their own.

A Tumblr rumble over the nature of a “bread knife” elevated itself over the usual cyberspace tone, couching its arguments as though the site were a quasi-courtroom, complete with ubiquitous Phoenix Wright illustrations to really drive home the gravity of the case.

The whole thing started with three pictures, appearing to show a long knife sheathed in a loaf of bread.

Wait for it…

Oh… I see something…

Bingo! Now THAT is a knife!

It was met at first with the typical passive bemusement.

Then one brave self-styled internet attorney decided to speak truth to power:

Wait for it… because it’s GOOD.

Oh snap! No cuts? I’m shook!

Now that they say something… I’m offended!

You sons a bitches!

The prosecution had made an impressive case.

The defendant had clearly, with malice aforethought, falsified a bread sword.

He’d be going away for a long time.



Hmmmm, no gleam that I can see…

OH. My. God.

At this point, the jury doesn’t know who, or what, to believe.

It’s a heavy responsibility, but Google image search is pretty strong evidence for the defense.

Perhaps that settles it. I only hope now we can move on with our lives in peace, and that there’s no more-

Oh god there’s more.

And more…

And oh so more…

Wait… there’s even more??

Yeah, there are GIFs involved now…

I just don’t know what to think!

Lies on lies; deception inception. Justice is a long and winding path and I am but a weary traveler.

Decision time. What do we the jury conclude?

Tell us in the comments.