We cover a lot of our favorite r/AskReddit threads here, but we’ve never come across one quite like this before. Prepare yourself for a world of shock and awe and the unbelievably bizarre, opened up for us by our guide AceEnvious to took to the inquisitive subreddit to ask the following:
What’s the most fucked up shit you’ve walked into? from AskReddit
It’s one of those questions that pretty much all of us have an answer to, so it’s no surprise that the post racked up tens of thousands of comments. The range from the hilarious to the truly disturbing, and they are a fascinating read. Check out a few of the top comments below, but be advised that some contain discussions of domestic violence, as well as graphic and strange descriptions of sexual acts.
1. The time my apartment become a fetish club.
Back in college, a bunch of friends lived in adjacent apartments in a building and we had the unwritten rule that if the front door was unlocked, come on in.
One evening, I walked in to one of the apartments and saw the following:
The room was heavily filled with smoke
Dude, Where’s My Car was blasting on the TV
A dog barking like crazy (no dogs were allowed in the apartment)
Two men were tied to a metal frame chair (one sitting in the other’s lap) and being flogged
5 people were standing around watching
The sounds of even more people coming from down the hallway
I simply turned around and went home; didn’t want to know.
2. The time I may have accidentally saved a life.
In my junior year of college my best friend and I were helping pack up his girlfriend’s room at the end of the semester when I heard some weird noise coming from the bathroom.
It kind of sounded like someone having sex so I thought it would be hilarious to kick the door open and surprise them.
It turned out the cleaning woman was on the floor having a seizure.
– [user deleted]
3. The time when asking for a date was probably bad.
I was hanging out with this girl I was trying to date, while there her mom was served divorce papers.
4. The time I stopped a murder in a daze.
Friend and I went out to get pizza and took his little sister too. Gone maybe 20 minutes. Got back and his little sister runs inside before us. He walks after her and I follow. As I get in I see both of them frozen in place staring at something. As I round the corner I see their dad strangling their mom, both crumpled on the stairs leading up. It was eerily fucking quiet, like she was sitting there dying without a sound. I was in a state of shock but I wasn’t paralyzed by it so I walked over and calmly grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands from her neck. Still no sounds at all, super quiet. She started gasping then and the sound snapped everyone out of it. That’s when all hell broke loose with everyone screaming and freaking out.
My own mom asked why I didn’t beat the hell out of him and I had to explain to her that I was in a sort of calm daze. I was watching someone trying to kill someone else and I just couldn’t process it. As an adult now I would have absolutely beat him to a greasy pulp but I was like 16 then.
She survived with a badly bruised neck and thankfully did everything right: restraining order, divorce, moved away.
5. The time I accidentally corrupted a youth.
Girl is locked out of her room and asks for one of us to get into her room. Not out of the norm in our building.
She was in a double room and could not get a hold of her roommate. I go up with another RA knock twice without any noise. Open the door to her roommate and 3 guys in a 4 way.
She takes the cock out of her mouth and says… I was a little busy to answer.
I just shut the door and found an empty room with bedding for the shocked student who was a devout Catholic as she told me many a time as we walked to the other room.
6. The time I was almost in a weird porno.
Was delivering pizza, getting off an elevator.
As the door opened, a topless woman was standing there squeaking a rubber ducky between her tits.
Her boyfriend stood in their apartment door busting up.
They tipped $20.
7. The party that wasn’t what we expected.
Best friend told me he was having a adult party and we should come by. I knew my friend and his wife dabbled in swinging but didnt think to much of it. My GF and I bought a bottle of booze and headed over. We walked in there house and my eyes are assaulted with the wackiest shit I have ever seen. My friends wife is riding some dude on their coach and turns around and says “oh hey guys, come on in”. She never even flinched to stop fucking this dude while talking to us.
So we walk in and my buddy comes barreling down the stairs buckling his pants with some half naked girl following him. I say my hellos and make my way to the kitchen.
When i walk into the kitchen there is a dude in all fish net getting a blowjob by some very large obese lady. It was something straight out of a horror kink movie. My girl and I sipped on booze and chatted with people coming in and out of the kitchen for the next hour then took off. The event was fucking bananas
8. The hard time that ended up OK.
Walked into my parents house when my teenage sister and her boyfriend were telling my parents she was pregnant. My sister was sobbing, sitting in my mom’s lap and my dad was saying, “We trusted you!” to her boyfriend. It took me about a quarter of a second to figure out what was happening.
I gathered up the younger kids who had been sent to another room and took them all for ice cream to get them out of the house. Took them back to my place to watch movies until I got the All Clear.
BTW, Sister and Boyfriend are now Sister and Brother-In-Law and their little accident is about to graduate from high school.
9. The time I might have regretted having kids.
I walked in on my sons all pissing into the toilet at once while my daughter waited her turn.
They were worried about going in on their own because they saw a movie about murderers hiding in bathrooms and killing people.
10. When I met an old man who knew what he was about.
Stopped by an apartment complex to check it out years ago. They had a community area with seats and tables set up in their main office where people can sit and talk.
They also had a computer in the corner that could be used by anyone who lived there. At the computer sat a man who was probably in his 70s and on the screen was an image of a vagina that he zoomed in so it filled the screen.
He slowly looked back and me and made eye contact with me. He then slowly turned back and stared at the vagina some more.
I backed out of the doorway and drove to the next rental office.
11. A formative experience.
I was unwittingly and unknowingly invited to and walked in on a furry orgy at age 16. So, that.
12. The incident that put me off cucumbers.
I was delivering a parcel to a business in a remote location, walked in and found a naked chick throwing cucumbers at an elderly gentleman’s spread ass cheeks.
She saw me and told me to wait a second while she threw 2 or 3 more. It appeared as though she was trying to ‘javelin’ them into his crinkly old brown eye.
Then she came over, signed and went and started collecting the cucumbers. The old guy shouted ‘thanks’.
There must have been 30 cucumbers on the floor.
– [user deleted]
13. The day I was in a mafia movie.
In the late 90s there was an after hours bar I used to go to in Philly. I bartended so it was a good spot to grab a drink after work. It was also run by the mob, you pretty much had to know someone to be allowed in.
It was a lesbian bar until Midnight. Then they’d close and reopen at 2am. So one night I get cut from work early and decide to go over there. It’s about 1am. The bouncer knows my uncle really well so when I walk up he says its no problem, I can go upstairs and get a drink even though they weren’t open yet. So I walk upstairs and when I turn the corner I see the bartender behind the bar, and on the other side of the bar theres a guy chained to a chair.
These 2 mob guys I knew were beating the piss out of this guy, I have no idea why. They weren’t asking questions, and there was blood all over him. Bartender turns to me and asks if I want a drink. I was like “Nah, ya know what? Ill come back after you guys open up.” and I turned right around and walked back downstairs Grandpa Simpson style. When I left I told the bouncer he might not want to let people in early tonight, and I rolled.
14. When I didn’t see the chocolate milk coming.
I posted this several years ago, but it’s worth telling again. Not me, but a friend. We both worked in a fairly upscale hotel.
He worked maintenance and got a call to fix a broken door latch. As he approached the room, a very obviously teenage girl comes storming out, yelling at her parents that she “wasn’t watching this again.” Girl lets my friend in the room, then shit gets real.
The girl’s mom and dad are 250 and 300 pounds, respectively. Friend says he’s there to work on the door. Both parents are laying underneath the covers in bed, which is nothing that odd. They tell my friend to get to work, and as he starts pulling out his tools, both parents get out of bed, they’re completely naked, and proceed to start porking doggy style on the end of the bed.
My friend says he’ll just come back, the dad SCREAMS for him to keep working as he loudly plows his wife. Friend can hardly work because he’s so shaken up. He never looks back, except for one time on his way out the door, when he sees that the dad was so fat, he laid his belly up on top of his wife’s back, and had a chocolate milk in his hand.
15. The happy ending?
At university I walked in on my housemate having cocaine blown up his arse with a bicycle pump by his girlfriend.
They’re married now so there someone out there for everyone.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve got hundreds if not millions of follow-up questions about most of these. I may need to spend some time going through the thread and seeing if any of them were already answered. It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad world.
What’s the craziest thing YOU’VE walked into?
Tell us in the comments.