We cover a lot of topics that pop up on r/AskReddit, but this one is a doozy. Here’s the question itself, posed by user Bumblebee_doodles:
Sex Shop and Sex Workers of Reddit: What are some of the best examples or clients not knowing how anatomy/sex works? from AskReddit
To clarify, a sex worker is someone who professionally performs sexual acts, a sex shop worker is someone who works at a company that sells sex-related products. Thousands of comments flooded in from people who with experience in both camps.
Here are just a few astonishing examples, and please be warned that some of these answers are graphic in detail and that this whole post is not very safe for work, or any other place.
1. Don’t hurt yourself.
I used to date a woman who worked at a sex shop.
Every single day she would come home and rant about having had to desperately dissuade someone from doing something to their own as$hole that would put them in the hospital.
2. This one stings…
First one that comes to mind is having to explain to a gentleman that the reason his wife doesn’t enjoy toys probably has something to do with the fact he was cleaning them with Clorox wipes before hand.
3. Some of these would make me want to call the police.
More one guy who didn’t understand that b****ality was illegal and, therefore, we didn’t have any p**n featuring donkeys.
4. Some are just a bummer.
I worked at a local sex shop last summer.
Women always asked help from me because the only other person working was a guy. They wanted some sex toy but didn’t know exactly what. I would usualy ask something along the lines of “What makes you come easier, clitorial stimulation or something inserted in you?”. I was there only for 2 weeks and during those 2 weeks, at least 7 women said “Oh, i’ve never had an orgasm so i don’t know”.
Most of them were women under 25 but the oldest was around 35-40 and married. That poor woman.
5. One pharmacist had a relevant story.
my friend works as a pharmacist and says a guy came in once looking to purchase Plan B / the morning after pill.
He then asked her to explain when he should ingest it because he planned to have unprotected sex that night.
6. There’s this frightening one from a sex worker…
Client was a middle aged, married man. Kept hassling for no condom and I kept refusing.
He asked why I wouldn’t do it because “surely I’m on a tablet to stop myself getting pregnant.”
I explained that condoms were important in protecting against STDS. He literally did now know what an STD was!!!
I spent a while explaining to him and he started to worry that his wife would find out he was seeing sex workers because he hadn’t been using condoms… he said “so if I catch something, my wife could get it to?”
7. Don’t fight the lube.
I worked at a sex shop for like 3 years and the thing that irked me the most were people who were willfully ignorant about lube.
Even after I’d explain why it’s good for you they’d be like “NAH THATS FOR OLD LADIES”
8. Banana for scale.
I had a guy who wanted to meet up for full service, but said he didn’t want me to be disappointed by how small his d%ck was.
He said, “don’t worry though I’ll bring a banana for us to use so youll still be satisfied.” ?????
9. Our sex ed system has failed us hard.
When I worked in a sex shop lots of guys would come in looking for a gift for their female S.O. I would often ask them if they were looking for a toy with clitoral or G spot stimulation.
The number of guys who looked at me blankly and went “what is clitoral? I just want something to put in her” (or a version of that statement) never failed to surprise me.
10. Why would…why would you…
I work in a lingerie/sex shop and wow, I didn’t realise how many people lack a basic understanding of things in general.
First thing that springs to mind is a woman who kept breaking a couples toy (shaped like a ‘U’ so women can wear it internally during intercourse and it’ll also sit on the clitoris) by using it like a crab claw to pinch her clitoris.
11. This is what happens when your education is urban-legend based.
“I don’t want a vibrator, those loosen your vagina”
12. Gotta know that chemistry.
I used to work in a sex shop.
The amount of people that didn’t know that latex condoms break down when using oil-based lube is astounding.
Had to explain it multiple times a day.
Pro tip: If you don’t know what lube to use for something, go water-based
13. In a sex shop, all sales are DEFINITELY final.
“I can return this, right? You guys can just clean it and put it in a new package or whatever.”
If the industry worked like that, everyone would have hepatitis. Gross. No.
14. You’re not impressing anyone.
Sex worker here.
The amount of clients who ask me how many times I came from some thirsty jackhammer f*cking for 2 mins are laughable.
Baby, if I came you would definitely know it.
15. We’ve saved the most bafflingly weird one for last.
It was phone sex, but the guy f*ckin. . . I spent three hours describing to him how a girl would pee in the woods.
Whether he knew or not is beside the point, three hours describing it while trying to be horny at the same time.
Dudes are wild sometimes. Squatting! Not that difficult of a concept!
Welp, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go wash out my brain with soap. Remember to educate yourselves, kids!
Do you have a story like this?
If so you GOTTA share it in the comments.