Relationships end for all kinds of reasons, sometimes with a bang, sometimes with a whimper.
But every story is at least a little bit different.
What made you straight up "nope" out of a relationship? from AskReddit
And WHOO BOY does Reddit have some stories. Be warned – a few of these contain some unpleasant topics, for obvious reasons.
1. The red flags
How about things that should have been red flags but I was too naive to recognize?
-left notes on my car windshield when I was at work/a friend’s house/the store (seemed sweet, but I realized later that was my SO keeping tabs on me, even when I didn’t say where I was).
-let me know how much a hit man cost and that it was “cheaper than you’d expect”.
-would tell me something, and then later say that was a lie or a test, as though I should have figured that out instead of expecting the truth.
-expected me to answer every call, and would get angry if I wanted to end the call first.
-complained about my friends and family all the time. All of them. Apparently everyone I knew was manipulative and/or rude. I didn’t figure out this was an attempt to isolate me until after we broke up.
2. The addict
I kept having to call the cops to calm down my wife after she became addicted to a slew of prescription drugs. I told her doctors that opiates for a a ruptured vertebrae, stimulants for ADHD, Ambien most nights to help her sleep and an assortment of others for anxiety and depression, and more to combat side-effects, made her violent.
One of the times that I called the cops to calm the situation down during a bad episode just made me cry. All he had to say was that he had already been there, and asked when it would stop.
I thought I’d been holding things together reasonably well. I had an office job where no one knew what was up, though my work had suffered greatly. I kept clothes and food in my trunk, just in case I had to stay out for a bit because she had decided I was part of ‘the conspiracy’. I had a gym on the way to work I could where I could shower or just have some down time. I did all of our housework and errands, because she couldn’t work or do much of anything most of the time. Each time she cut herself she told the hospital it was an accident, and she always tried to go to a different one(we lived in a major metro, between hospitals).
The cop saw through it. Being seen like that and knowing that even that lifestyle was running out hurt. I’m now recovering from the divorce and enjoying the calm. I still sometimes panic for no reason, and I feel more comfortable with clothes and food stashed in the trunk, but I feel much healthier. I get more sleep. My blood pressure has normalized(for the most part). I don’t cry at work anymore.
3. The Tinder girl
Met a girl on tinder, we went for a coffee date. Shared some of the same music tastes. She lets me know that one of them is playing at a local club on Friday. I suggest we go together and do dinner before.
Friday comes, we do a late sushi dinner and head to this club around 10 for the show. Headliner, who we wanted to see, went on around midnight. Get to the club, finally get to the bar and order drinks then head to the dance floor. She pounds the drink and says she is getting another drink. She comes back few min later with a new drink gives me a kiss on the cheek and wanders off on the dance floor. I am not someone who is overly possessive and figure my wanting to be in the back to get a full visual and auditory experience is not her jam. All good. 20 min later I see her grinding on some dude. Now mentally, I am already back at my car but I want to see what happens when she makes eye contact with me. They start making out and the guy notices me eyeballing them. She wanders off to get another drink and he comes up to me asking if I have a problem. I explain the situation and he says something to the extent of “Sucks bro, she is with me now. F**k off.” Took his advice and did.
Called up a friend and went to his house and played Catan till 2ish. Then my phone rings. It’s 230a and she is calling me asking where I went, my car was missing from the parking lot. I told her I went home and she was on her own to find a ride. “I bet that guy you were making out with could give you a ride” to which she responded with “which one” (we kissed once, made out zero times). I laughed , hung up, and rolled for more bricks.
4. The collector
He introduced me to his beanie baby collection. On the third date.
I wasn’t too bothered until I made the motion to leave and he asked me to hug, kiss, tuck in, and address each one by name before I left.
There had to be at least 30.
5. The fear
Genuinely feared for my safety. I went over and we got in an argument so I slept on the floor essentially. I went to the bathroom to text one of my buddies to come pick me up since I thought she had fallen asleep. I suddenly get a text from her saying “Where are you?” and my phone made a sound. I froze up and opened the bathroom door and she was already standing there waiting for me in the darkness. She didn’t say a word at all, just stared at me until I walked by.
I went back to my spot on the floor and got under the blanket and pretended to be going asleep until she did. After about 30 minutes I decided to peek out from under the covers and…She was literally towering over me in total darkness with her eyes wide open the entire time. I got the f**k out of there so fast
6. The manipulator
I had a very long and toxic relationship with an ex. I had wanted to leave for years, but he would threaten to kill himself and I would end up staying.
I finally got the courage to walk away when I was diagnosed with several benign liver tumors and was told by the doctor that it was very important with this type of tumor to immediately and permanently stop taking hormonal birth control. I researched it on my own and confirmed the single most important thing I could do to avoid further complications was to stop taking hormonal birth control for good.
I told my (then husband) about the appointment and he said, so calmly “Well that’s going to be a problem.”
I was like, what do you mean? I’ll go to the gyno as soon as I can get an appointment and we can just use condoms until then.
Nope. Condoms were unacceptable because we were married. And not having s** until I got to the gyno was also unacceptable.
What really made my blood run cold though, was when he suggested that I should continue to take birth control as normal and just not tell the doctor. “He’ll never know,” he said. Then he went on to suggest maybe I could go on and off birth control so I’d be off of it before any follow up appointments with this doctor, to ensure that he’d never know.
I was totally stunned and I just looked at him and said “You understand this could kill me? This isn’t about placating a doctor, this is about my life.”
He just shrugged and said he wasn’t using condoms and I needed to “figure it out.”
I did figure it out. I left him more than a decade ago and have never been happier.
7. The time-keeper
My brother came to visit me. After I spend whole day with my gf, it was time to see my brother because we did not see each other for a long time.
We prepared some snacks and about to start lotr because both of us love lotr. She called me and started a long conversation on phone. I said my brother waits for me and she said that I cannot spend my time with anyone because it belongs to her. It was last talk between two of us.
8. The gun
He put a gun in my face and threatened to kill me. Noped right out even though we had been married for years and had kids.
I wasn’t going to be around for the day he actually pulled the trigger.
9. The game-shamer
What kind of 22 year old spends their only day off playing video games?”
Uhhh, a 22 year old chef who’s working three jobs and has finally coordinated an actual day off between the three of them.
10. The broadcaster
Told everybody she knew about any little disagreement. Anytime I could be perceived unreasonable it was everyone’s business.
But somehow the surprises, special dates, lending her cousin rent money, all of that wasn’t brought up. Just negative stuff was public knowledge.
11. The liar
I was dating a woman who was previously married and her and her ex had a two year old child together.
One night, she tells me of this plan to coach her daughter to claim this guy had molested her because she wanted full custody and didn’t want this guy around anymore.
I decided right then to bounce right the f**k out of that relationship.
12. The alcoholic
He didn’t have a car so I’d help him with rides to work.
He worked 3rd shift at toys r us stocking shelves. I picked him up one night and he was so drunk he could barely stand. I made some comment about how he isn’t going to be able to work.
He started throwing s**t at me in the parking lot, I threw his s**t on the ground and left him there. (I’ve dealt with one too many alcoholics and I wasn’t wasting anymore of my time)
Cut to 5 years later he is now sober and getting married this year! So good for him!
13. The control freak
When I wasn’t allowed to hang out with my male friends in broad daylight but he thought it was okay to hand out with girls he didn’t know in the middle of the night… was a major red flag
14. The predator
I found a video on my husband’s tablet that was from a hidden camera in our bathroom.
It showed my 14 year old niece nude. We had just had our 7th anniversary and had a 6 yo of our own. I had kissed him and sent him off to work that morning, thinking I had a wonderful husband.
Before he got off work, I had called the police and a restraining order followed, quickly. I arranged for him to move in with his parents before he got off work. He never came home again(good riddance!).
It was like our marriage evaporated. It’s been hard to process, but I wouldn’t change the way I handled anything. Since then, he has plead guilty to 8 counts related to the production and possession of child pornography. He was sentenced to 40 years, with 34 suspended. He will register as a sex offender for life. He will be on “indefinite supervision” when he gets out. He can’t have unsupervised contact with any children, even his own.
It’s been traumatic and now I have to figure out the divorce (I put it to the side during the criminal case, we’ve been legally separated since that day). I have no regrets. My niece got justice and can start to heal. My child and other children are safe from him and he didn’t have a chance to escalate.
15. The photographer
Lady stayed the night for first time then started taking pictures of my house the next morning and posting them on social media. She put my bedroom, living room, and master bath on and I was like…what are you doing.
She said “I want everyone to see your place”.
I said “Uhh, let me take you home”.
Told her I didn’t like that she did that. Then she complained on social media how I was so petty for not liking her posting my house. Then called me up to go out again.
I was just astonished she thought I would be like post my house, speak ill of me, and come on back. That was one night… NOPE
Those are some severely justified NOPES.
Have you ever had a situation like this?
Tell us about it in the comments.