Where would we be as couples without something to laugh at? It’s massively important, even if the thing we’re laughing at is…occasionally…each other.
One inquisitive soul set off a hilariously epic thread when they took to r/AskReddit to pose the following question:
There were tens of thousands of responses, and they are truly amazing. We’ve covered some of our favorite about husbands/boyfriends elsewhere; this one is dedicated to the ladies. Here are 15 hilarious anecdotes about the dumbest things peoples’ wives/girlfriends have unwittingly put out into the universe.
1. There’s this patron of the arts.
Current gf thought that the movie showings during the day were “Manatee Shows”.
I had to explain to her that they are in fact “Matinee Shows”.
2. I supposed this woman is a hydra enthusiast?
She told me she only waxes her legs, because if you shave one hair, then it splits and two grow back in its place…
– [user deleted]
3. Honestly, this one should write a book.
She’s not very good with words and English is her first language.
“I got freezer bite on my hands”
Her idioms also need some work:
“You sound like the wolf who cried”
“You opened up a whole new worm”
4. There were a WEIRD number of stories about women mixing these creatures up…
We were driving through some back roads and passed a couple pastures.
She saw some cows and started very excitedly trying to get my attention.
Grabbing on my arm and saying “babe, babe, look how FAT those horses are”
I have never let it go and she still doesn’t think it’s funny
5. Hey, vocabulary isn’t everybody’s subject.
We bought a new car.
She asked me if I changed the settings to Spanish because it said ‘Ajar’ on the dash when the door was open.
6. Sometimes, it’s the thought that counts.
When my wife and I started dating in the mid 1980’s she knew I was a huge fan of David Letterman.
She said she had a huge surprise for me as she had tickets to see Letterman at a local venue.
I was confused since David Letterman did not tour. I looked at the tickets she purchased and they were for the old 60’s band “The Lettermen”.
We didn’t go, but I married her. 30 years this September…
7. Pranking your S/O into saying something dumb is the best.
My favorite memory of my parents is going to some fast food joint, through the drive thru.
Mom is driving and giving our orders to the cashier. Just as she finishes my dad casually says “To go” my mom, and she turns back to the cashier and says “To go.”
Two seconds of buffering later and she slaps my dad full on in the chest, who is laughing fucking hysterically.
Dont think we’ve ever let her live that down.
8. This is why education is important.
My girlfriend in college attended my graduation and afterward says to me, “Man, there were a lot of people with the name ‘lawdy’.”
Each time someone was given their degree, it was announced whether they were graduating “cum laude” or not.
My girlfriend thought America’s largest family graduated from university with me that day – the Lawdy family (and they all looked unrelated.)
9. This seems like an absent-minded professor situation.
My deeply intelligent wife lost her CAR.
Like left it in a parking lot and somehow got home on Friday. Monday morning I get a text: “where’s my car?”
She’s gonna finish her medical degree next year.
10. These two aren’t equally yolked.
I showed her how to crack an egg by tapping it against another egg and she thought this meant any amount of force would be absorbed by only one egg and smashed two eggs together spraying yolk everywhere.
– [user deleted]
11. In her defense, technology moves fast.
My now ex-girlfriend got a Polaroid camera for Christmas.
Jokingly one day I said “Does it take videos?” And she very seriously said “I’m sure it does but I haven’t tried that feature yet”
12. Some of these are slightly worrying…
She thought dragons existed. Now, I don’t even mean “she thought they were the same as dinosaurs”, I mean her favourite movie is How to Train your Dragon, and she believed that those movies accurately portrayed how vikings lived.
She genuinely thought vikings and dragons lived alongside each other. I don’t know if she thought that vikings actually rode the dragons or not, but at the very least she believed they coexisted.
13. Navigation is hard, just ask explorers.
Once me and my SO went for a walk around a local nature reserve.
On the way in we got a map given to us so we could navigate the area. Later on the walk she is looking at the map and says to me “these maps really need a ‘you are here’ on them.”
It took me a second to realise what she meant, so I explained that it’s a hand held map and that it wouldn’t be possible, it took 4/5 attempts before it clicked with her.
14. When we hurt the ones we love…
One time while dating my now wife, we got into a playful pinching fight while I was driving
(probably not a great idea, but we were young).
She starts getting frustrated and pinching harder, but my right arm was hooked on her left arm (like when you walk together with your arms hooked in movies).
She pinched herself and thought it was me, she pinched so hard she screamed and got mad. Her next reaction was what made me almost crash!
She doubled down and did it again harder and screamed even louder.
Somehow she didn’t realize it was her arm the way we were hooked together, even though in that position I had no way to touch her. She was getting pissed because I was cracking up. Just remembering her anger then confusing always makes me laugh.
15. I wish I knew how to quit you.
She ate cold turkey to try and quit smoking. – Notangryactuallycalm
Amazing. Fascinating. 10/10, would continue to date and never let them live it down. Remember, we’re all dumb sometimes. Be good to each other.
What’s the dumbest thing your S/O has ever said or done?
Tell us in the comments.