Childhood is weird. In so, so many ways.
Like the little embarrassing moments we have that sort of stick with us forever; the ones we carry around still not telling anyone even though they are objectively so far distant and irrelevant now.
A lot of those came up in response to this prompt on r/AskReddit:
The answers were many and broad, but a lot of the things that resonated the most were in the realm of childhood. Here are fifteen childhood secrets from strangers, and what we can learn from them.
1. Don’t drink the water.
In primary school (elementary) me and my friends saw water dripping from the rooftop on the playground.
Without thinking, we’d let it drop into our mouths and drink it, giggling and excited we’d found our own water source.
A teacher caught us and we had to be checked out because it turned out the water was coming from a pipe or something that rats had ran through
2. If you’re gonna cheat, at least be smart about it.
we had a candy corn counting contest in like 4th or 5th grade where you guess how many are in the big jar.
when no one was looking I carefully took the tape off the top thinking I was going to count them all or something and saw that they had written the total on the inside of the top so, being a genius, I took out about 30 of them, ate the evidence, and put my guess in for the number minus 35 – ya know, so it wouldn’t be suspicious if i got it on the nose – not realizing they weren’t going to recount them.
The winner guessed it within 20 of the number on the bottom of the lid. So basically, I cheated, sabotaged and still lost and I kept all that stupidity to myself for all these years.
3. You only get one mouth.
As a small I child I ate an old piece of gum from under a bus seat.
I’d really like to exchange my mouth for a new one
4. Always know where the bathroom is.
One time, when I was like 9 or 10, I had to go to the bathroom really badly while my family and I were at a hotel pool.
I didn’t make it in time, so I sat on the pavement and just sh*t on the pavement. In my swimsuit.
When no one was around I snuck to the bathroom and tried to clean it up the best I could.
Never told anyone about that lol
5. Siblings aren’t pets.
When my sister was younger probably around 2-4 age range, whenever she did something I asked her to do I gave her a dog bone as a reward.
She never listened when we were younger but as soon as I started giving her dog bones she was a different person it was great.
this was almost 20 years ago now and I woulda gotten away with it too if it weren’t for my meddling mom asking why her breath smelled like dog food randomly
6. Crime sometimes pays.
when I was younger, I would steal coins from my parents and when I had enough, I would bring them to my dad and had them changed to paper bills and he would be so proud of me for saving coins that he would buy me ice cream or sweet bread
7. Tastes change.
When I was about 5 I used to prefer cat food to normal food, now I can’t stand the taste.
8. Don’t overreact.
That I hit some kid in the back of a trampoline park with a chain I grabbed off of a fence because he kept poking me
9. Flavor is an experiment.
I loved ketchup so much as a kid that I used to have it with cereal sometimes
10. Own up.
A girl from my school needed glasses after she got a snowball in her eye.
The snowball came flying from the other side of the building, across the roof and hit her in the eye.
This is 15 years ago. No one knows who threw that snowball………..the shame….
11. Be wary of handouts.
I accidentally stole a packet of Welsh’s gummies once.
It was at this walk thingy at my brother’s elementary school.
I was 11 or so and I thought they were just handing them out to everyone who attended the walk.
12. Always know the direction of things.
In 5th grade I stabbed a boy with a pencil in his arm.
It didn’t go deep.
We were goofing off and I planned on thumping him with the eraser end of my pencil, but didn’t realize it was the wrong end. he never told the teacher or his parents, but he held it over my head for the rest of the year.
13. Mortality is in your hands.
I used to try to suffocate my little brother with a pillow when we were young, it was just a joke since we did it to each other, but later we learned we could’ve accidentally killed each other.
14. There’s an animal inside you.
As a child I would sneak out at night and ate raw bacon cause it tasted so good.
Being honest, I ate a piece this last weekend and it still taste just as great. Sigh
15. You can con with the best of ’em.
Between ages 8-10 I stole about 3000 dollars from someone I don’t know.
Childhood gets further and further away from us all the time. But weird little things like this? They’ll always be right where we are.
What’s your story along these lines?
Tell us in the comments.