They say that ’tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
But for some of us, that doesn’t ring true. The loss can be devastating, especially if we feel it wasn’t necessary. And that’s what generates stories like these:
Have you ever broken up with someone and regretted it later, if so why?
byu/TJGaming084 inAskReddit
Never was a tale of more woe, than these of Reddit, and its users, yo.
1. That’s a first
My first girlfriend.
I wouldn’t say i regret it because i am who i am today because of the decisions i made. It took me a lifetime of bad and sometimes abusive relationships to realize that actually everything i could have wanted and needed was in her.
She was truly a good soul and in my naivety i thought there would be many others like her, but life doesn’t work that way.
Last i heard she had a husband and a kid, couldn’t be happier for her.
– Your-Mask-Is-Tinfoil
2. Beat me to it
Broke up with a girl because she was about to head back to a fancy college and I assumed she’d quickly break up with me after a few weeks there. I was determined to not be the one getting dumped, so I did it first.
Turns out she was devastated and was planning on making a long distance thing work. I felt terrible, but I couldn’t just take it back, so I decided to give her some space.
Half a year later, at Xmas break, we started talking again and quickly got back together. I went back to school myself and we’ve been married 13 years.
– phoenix1984
3. WTF was I doing?
Broke up with my girlfriend because she didn’t really fit into my idea of who I wanted to be with.
About two weeks later it suddenly hit me, she was a kind person who genuinely liked and accepted me. WTF was I doing!? Asked her to reconsider and she said no.
We remained friends and a few weeks later I asked her to reconsider again. She said no because she didn’t know if I was just lonely or wanted to be with her. Told me to wait a few months and then decide if I wanted to ask her again.
We’ve been married for close to ten years and I’ve never been happier.
– Zazenp
4. Give me a chance
I don’t regret breaking up with anyone, but I do regret not giving some people a chance. In my life I’ve had some genuinely awesome women that were interested in me and I let them slip away for toxic and horrible relationships.
I could have been part of a team where we elevated one another and together became better than we could have alone. Instead I just couldn’t stop myself from settling down into toxic and hateful relationships.
I wasted my youth and can never get it back.
– Theearthhasnoedges
5. Right decisions, wrong reasons
I was in a 4 year relationship with someone I always considered to be not-the-one. Turns out it was all fear of commitment. I left the relationship because from the get go, I thought it would be over soon.
It was a great relationship. She accepted me in the most part, we had some personality shocks but I came to accept that I loved her and that I would marry her eventually. Problem is, that feeling of “you’re losing lots of opportunities” never went away and the personality shocks pilled on it. Eventually my fear of commitment got to me and I broke up with her in 2019.
Since then, I learned about that fear, regretted the break up, talked deeply with her about that, and learned that I was not wrong in breaking up with her. The relationship was making me miserable, and having a toll on her too, and it wouldn’t get better unless I learned what I learned this last year, and that would probably not be enough. It was the right decision, but for the wrong reasons.
I don’t regret it anymore. My 2020 would be way less lonely if I hadn’t broken up with her, but I learned a lot about myself and still have a friend in her. We’re not as close as we once were, but sometimes that happens.
My point is, you might miss the relationship later, even if it makes you feel bad now. That’s okay. Just remember that breaking up is as much a commitment as staying together.
– budweener
6. Dismissed
My most recent partner was pretty amazing. And he was the only person I’ve ever met who was actually willing to fight for me, and not turn away at the first sign of minor inconvenience.
And I rejected and dismissed him repeatedly, because I was too hung up on stupid things that didn’t really matter.
I could have had the family I desperately need, had I not been a complete and utter idiot jerk.
– With_Trees
7. The right thing to do
I regretted it even as I was doing it, but I knew it was the right thing to do.
He was my first serious bf, but we were very young. There was a lot of love, but we’d developed some unhealthy communication and were hurting each other. Neither of us really knew how to fix it or whether it even could be fixed.
I hated hurting him and walking away was painful, but it was necessary. The way things were, that relationship was not going anywhere good.
All in all, I regret the pain I caused, but I’m still certain that it was the right thing to do.
– sataimir
8. Evade and avoid
I broke up with my boyfriend because he was avoiding taking care of some PTSD issues he had from his time in the army. When we first started dating, he was talking to a therapist weekly and then slowly dropped off until he hadn’t seen someone for almost a year. I was also not doing well. I felt like I was drowning and I couldn’t see myself carrying him, too.
He got his sh*t together. I made some mistakes of my own. When we started talking again I was picking up the pieces and he wanted to help me. I’d never felt so loved in my entire life. I didn’t deserve him, but he wanted to be there and I finally wanted to let him.
We started over, dating again, working as a team to manage our collective issues. We eventually got engaged and then got married a year later! When I first met him I thought he was the love of my life, and even though the path wasn’t neat and tidy, I wasn’t wrong. He’s the good things- I’m d*mn lucky and I know it.
– thecitymovedtome
9. The dog
Yes but not because of the woman I was leaving.
We were together for 3 years and we ran our course, that was fine and it wasn’t that hard to break up. But she had a dog, a tiny little Jack Russel Terrier who was already 12 years old when we I first met her. That dog was my spirit animal and we just bonded instantly. She followed me around everywhere and I love that dog bits.
She was a tough nut but she was really frozen due to age so I bought her clothes so she could be both warm and a bad*ss at the same time. It doesn’t show in that picture but she was really confident in these clothes. When we broke up it sucked because I had to leave this sweetheart behind, she wasn’t mine. And then 4 months later she passed away. The last thing I did was slam the door behind me and I have so much regret in my heart that I didn’t take a moment to say goodbye to this dog, or stayed for another 4 months before breaking up so I could have been there for her at the end. It sucks!
– DarthTheRaider
10. The freak out
I regret my most recent break up.
Essentially I freaked out because he ‘liked me too much’ and after a long series of boyfriends and an ex husband that had made me feel like a burden that should be grateful for their presence, I didn’t know how to just enjoy it. Ultimately I sabotaged the relationship rather than let myself ‘fall’ in his eyes.
Which I guess I’ve done anyway.
– somethatwander
11. Depression
Yes, I broke up with my ex about 2 years ago because I was going through depression. I needed time to recollect and reflect and I just lost the feeling of being happy and I lost feelings for any relationship I had, whether family intimate or friendly.
I regret it now because she was the best girl I’ve ever dated, but now there’s no chance of going back with her. She could’ve gotten me through those times, but I just didn’t know that. I f*cked up. Big time.
– poppint
12. Too good for me
I broke up with the love of my life because I thought she was too good for me.
She didn’t think that and tried very hard to convince me I was just scared (she was absolutely correct) but I wouldn’t listen and I pushed her away. It is hands down the worst mistake I ever made in my life. Kids, learn from my disastrous mistakes….and get off my lawn!
– DeCarp
13. Underneath the drink
My most recent ex was a really good person underneath what I consider to be an alcoholic, mean girl who didn’t like me all the time. I got into my current relationship right as that one ended, because I realized this new one (current fiancée) actually liked(at first, now genuinely loves) me.
But I regret the breakup, in a way. She had a 2 year old kid and I loved him a lot during the year we dated. The boy’s father was a deadbeat and cheated on my ex while she was pregnant and then left her for the cheatee. I regret leaving so hastily because, from her perspective, I too left her for someone else. I guess, not just her perspective, as that’s basically what happened.
But I just wasn’t happy and my time with her was a drunken mess of constant fighting and anger. I just know she was a good person down deep inside, just deeply flawed due to a lifetime of being failed by those she loved. And I just added to that and failed her one last time.
– TheGrVIII1
14. Something better
Because it was a stupid reason.
She was the most beautiful woman inside and out that I ever met but my immature *ss thought there “might” be something better. There never was…
– 88bimmer
15. Toxicity
Had a crush on this girl for 2 years who was affectionate but never displayed any serious attachment. Then I started seeing someone else after I got tired and she was amazing, kind, smart, but about two weeks in, the long lasting crush feelings were still there so I ended the relationship because it felt somewhat unfair towards the girl I was seeing.
I ended up eventually with this crush, I very quickly realized she was the most abusive toxic person I’ve ever met in my life. I have never with anyone been yelled at so much, fought so much, blamed for the smallest things (she once stopped talking to me for 2 days because I accidentally got off the bus one stop too early when taking her to see a movie, we had to walk 10 extra minutes).
It was over 5 years, I still regret breaking up with this girl who was one of the nicest people I’ve ever met for this abusive crush…
– YoMomIsANiceLady
Well, at least a few of those turned out ok!
Do you have a story like this?
Share it with us in the comments.