Everybody’s got at least one memory of a thing that they did which they wish they could just take back.

And ironically, it’s always exactly that sort of thing that will never leave our memories.

What is the most fucked up thing you did that still haunts you to this day? from AskReddit

Let’s delve into the dark reflections on the minds of Redditors, shall we?

1. The longest seconds

When I was 17 my brother walked into a room where I was lying down on my back and stamped on my chest.

I saw red and stood up and punched him square in the face, unfortunately this was in a doorway in front of a staircase, which he fell down backwards and when he hit the wall at the bottom folded up in such a way I thought I’d killed him.

He didn’t move for what seemed like forever and I was certain he was dead, the world just spinning out around me. He wasn’t dead, obviously, but knocked out briefly and he never laid a finger on me again, after being the kind of nasty bully who had spent much of my childhood just randomly beating on me for his own enjoyment.

Those were the longest seconds of my life.

– MrSpindles

2. A joke

In 5th grade a girl told her friend that she liked me.

I found out and left a letter on her desk to ask her to the upcoming 5th grade dance. When she found it, she came over and said, “Is this a joke?” probably because she was bullied a lot.

Freaking out, I said, “Yeah! It was a joke!” She cried.

Ended up going to senior prom with her after reconnecting, though.

– DustyBroom42

3. Call me back

I didn’t call my friend back when he left a voicemail. It was a casual message saying hey, and I didn’t ignore him for any reason. Just got caught up in life stuff.

He killed himself that night.

I vowed to never not call someone back again, and that was 13 years ago.

– sswitch404

4. Burn it down

When I was 5, I burned my house down.

We were living in a small home, me, my sister, mom, dad. I was supposed to be in the bed, but I wanted a toy or something that was under my bed, and I didn’t want to wake my parents by turning on my light… soooo I grabbed my dad’s cigarette lighter and light the flame under my bed.

Needless to say it went up like a match. My dad tried to stomp the fire out after I started screaming fire, burning his leg horribly.

My room and the source of the fire was blocking EVERY other bedroom from escape, so everyone had to jump out of a window.

Funnily enough, I don’t remember the world-class *ss whipping I must have received for that. I just cringe at the thought that I almost killed all of us being a dumb kid.

– Paradigm_Pizza

5. Cruel words

We moved to a new house when I was 8.

When an old friend called to ask if we could play together I said “sorry I’m too busy playing with my new friends”

– franksgc

6. The stalking

I was married to an insanely abusive man. After two years I escaped and he killed himself shortly after. Not sure if it was him avoiding charges, or avoiding his deployment but his family decided it was 100% my fault.

They told the police I gave him the gun and encouraged him. That was investigated and unfounded. What they didn’t know was he’d scanned and emailed me his suicide note the wee hours of the morning of. The police didn’t find the note. Of course I handed it over when they asked. His family would not believe I wasn’t involved or at fault and harassed me for a long time. If I got a job and they found out about it they’d call and leave so many complaints I’d get let go.

Found out what I drove and had their other kids and their friends follow me. I ended up having to leave that town and disappearing to avoid them. But before I did, I printed a copy of his suicide note, found his mom’s car at her job, and left it on the window shield. That note detailed the abuse his father put him through, his rage at his mother for never leaving him and making himself and his siblings live with the SOB. That he never wanted me to blame myself, that this was his way of getting the h*ll away from them and the damage he caused.

I felt pretty bad for awhile. But at the same time…. they literally wouldn’t leave me alone and stalked me for 5 years.

– TinyTinasRabidOtter

7. Don’t smoke

When I was 14, I wrote a note to my dad telling him he shouldn’t be smoking and this is why I was taking away his full pack of cigarettes.

I was taking them to smoke them.

I have never regretted anything more in my life.

– pillowwow

8. Eavesdropping

I was at school and for no reason at all, I eavesdropped a very private and delicate conversation between one of my teachers and her husband.

Then she opened the door and saw me eavesdropping.

It was beyond humiliating and I deserved the scolding afterwards.

I was young and stupid obviously, but when I remember the look on her face, I still cringe hard, even if it’s been almost 20 years.

– naydeilinsei

9. Third person

Had a babysitter who was a kind middle aged woman with no kids of her own.

Her only fault was that she kept referring to herself in the third person.

One day 8 year old me snapped at told her to shut the h*ll up…. she cried.

I still feel bad about it 25 years later.

– wynnduffyisking

10. Paid in full

I was living in a large city where aggressive panhandling is very common, especially while pumping gas.

I was in my military uniform about to head to the base and had to stop and get gas. Swiped my credit card as normal and started pumping, and after a minute or two it clicked off at $10 or $20 (can’t remember) which annoyed me since I normally fill up completely and didn’t feel like swiping my card again to do a second transaction. I said screw it, I’ll fill up later, this will get me to base.

As I go to put the pump away and get back into my car, a guy wearing gym shorts and a t shirt approaches me and starts with “excuse me mister” and since this exact scenario had happened to me countless times followed immediately by asking for money, I cut him off and said “sorry man I can’t help you.” As I got into my car and quickly started it up and drove off I heard the guy say something along the lines of “What do you mean? I just paid for your gas that’s all” and I immediately realized that the guy had noticed me and had the gas station attendant void my card swipe and paid cash for my gas and that’s why it clicked off early, and I proceeded to die inside and still cringe when I think about it.

To this day I always let strangers finish their sentence before jumping to assumptions, even though the hundreds of times it’s happened since then has always been a panhandling attempt. If you are out there man, I am eternally sorry ?

– rem138

11. Party poopers

Probably around 12 years old, was rollerblading with my friend in the park.

Came across a picnic setup with happy birthday streamers and balloons. No one was there so we assumed it was over and they had left it. We proceeded to tear most of it down.

As we were about to leave a mother and her kid walk up and ask what happened. We lied and said someone else did it then took off. Have felt absolutely terrible since, totally ruined that kids birthday.

– chalexfor

12. I’m fine

My psychotic depressive episode five years ago where I drank laundry detergent, drank my own p*ss, assaulted a hospital worker and got restrained, bashed my head against a toilet in an attempt to break my skull – all while thinking I was completely normal and sane and didn’t need to be in the psych ward and the doctors were going to kick me out on the streets any day once they realized I was actually not sick.

Psychotic depression is absolute h*ll and I am so appalled at my behavior. It’s not like you blackout and forget what happens.

I have to live with what I did every day. I’m only now just beginning to feel stable again.

– [deleted user]

13. The summer job

When I first graduated high school I got a summer job helping around the construction site with one of my friends that just graduated high school with me. We were just a couple laborers that didn’t know anything, We were doing odd jobs in general cleanup around the job site consisted of 32 houses in two cul-de-sacs.

One of the houses was getting the sewer installed and my friend was out in the front yard and I realized I could hear him through the open sewer line (I was in the basement and was talking to him through the pipe.) For some reason I threw a piece of three foot 3/4” inch PVC down the sewer line and it had gotten stuck at the clean out fitting in the yard.

I did not think anything of it until three months later when the house was done went to settlement and the new homeowners started flushing the toilet and their toilet started backing up. The plumber on the job was freaking out because how could there be a clog in a brand new plumbing system he just installed a few months before!? The whole yard had to get dug up with a backhoe and I watched the plumber pull out stagnant feces, tampons toilet paper you name it it was in there…It was the most disgusting thing I ever saw and he was reaching in there up to his shoulder with bare hands.

He could not find the clog they kept chasing the pipe back until they eventually cut out a 10 foot section of pipe and found that there was a piece of three-quarter inch PVC inside of the 4 inch sewer.

My friend and I didn’t say a word. The plumber was super p*ssed and they ended up putting a camera down the 16 other houses he had already done that people moved into worrying they would find the same thing somewhere else.

It was probably a good $25,000 worth of damage. Dumbest thing I ever did.

– Dry_Dress9970

14. End the cycle

Smacked my step sister across the face when I was watching her (she was 5 I was 17). I felt so bad afterwards and just profusely apologized.

I was raised being abused and the power I felt when I did that scared me to death.

I have a child now and have never raised my hand to her.

I had to break that cycle before it destroyed me.

– FluentBanana

15. That poor mouse

Last year my cat brought a mouse into the house and let it go inside. It disappeared for an hour, then I heard my cat running around.

At this point I already had some tupperware ready, so I ran to my cat, and slammed it on the mouse.

Only thing is I managed to slam it right in the middle of it’s spine and killed it in the process.

The mouse was so cute and small and innocent, and to think it lived it’s last hour in fear…

– nektek-tsak-katsa

Kinda makes you wish the memory erasing tech in Eternal Sunshine was real, no?

What memory still haunts you?

Tell us in the comments.