It’s weird to look back on first dates that you knew weren’t going great and think, “But there were more dates after that. Why were there more?”

Some, of course, are so bad, that more is out of the question. Like these ones:

What first date behavior is a dealbreaker?
by inAskReddit

Hold onto your butts, the daters of Reddit have apparently had some EXPERIENCES.

1. Mad about you.

Having it be only about them irks me.

They’ll answer your questions with long stories about themselves and rarely ask anything in return. If they do, you’ll get about 1 sentence in and they’ll interrupt you with another one of their stories.

They somehow always feel like the date went great and they had a great time, and are surprised you are not equally as excited.

– Rancid_Stew

2. Mine!

Possessive behavior.

If this is how you act with someone you’ve just met, how would a relationship with you be?

– pink-eyebrows

3. Excellent.

They won’t stop talking about their ex.

– higbee77

4. A bit out of the way.

Once, I was talking to this girl online, and things were going pretty well, so we decided to go for dinner.

I showed up to the place five minutes early, so I waited. And kept waiting.

Texted her 15 mins after we were scheduled to meet, but didn’t get a response.

Waited for another 45 mins then left.

She messaged me later saying that she wasn’t there because she lives in Indonesia.

I live in New Jersey.

– PurpleInkBandit

5. Jealous, much?

Finding out that the reason why they asked you out is because they wanted to make their ex jealous.

To make it worse, she had her friend invite the ex-boyfriend as well….

– somethingrandomjk

6. You got somewhere to be?

Ordering your food to go and quietly watching me eat while you wait to leave.

– MadWhiskeyGrin

7. Silence is golden.

Showed up late “getting all done up” (told via text) but was in a ratty hoodie, and her clothes smelled… Musty.

Super shy, quiet, barely spoke, even when asked innocuous questions.


Then she wouldn’t shut the f*ck up, kept staring at me, and asking the dumbest questions like “how’d you get so tall?”, “Do you like movies?”

– Nerdtronix

8. A little help?

Making me do all the work, conversation wise.

I don’t mind being the lead driver but you need to at least pull your own weight.

I’ve been on some dates that felt more like interviews.

I would try everything I could to get an actual conversation going but they ended up as Q and A sessions

– valuesandnorms

9. Ignorance is bliss.

I went to see a movie with a girl who I’d been talking to for a few weeks. We went to see a movie and she starts sucking her thumb like a baby while watching the movie. I’m thinking “weird tick I guess but okay”. Halfway through the movie she gets really emotional, drops to the floor and starts rolling around like a toddler. After about 10 minutes she gets up and acts like nothing happened, I don’t know what to say at this point.

At one point during the day she’s telling me about another date she went on where she saw her friend halfway through and was speaking to her and the guy just walked off without saying bye or anything. As she’s telling me this we bump into a girl she knows, they’re talking for a bit and I try to introduce myself but she cuts me off to talk about something different.

They’re both acting like I’m not even there, this goes on for f*cking 30 minutes. Half an hour of me just standing there like a d*ckhead as if I’m I don’t know either of them while it seems like they’re both actively ignoring me. I try to say goodbye but it’s literally like I’m completely invisible. I figure at that point either she didn’t like me and somehow planned this intervention from her friend to save blatant turning me down or she’s just a rude person so I just walk away.

I get on the bus to go home and I get a message “hey why did you walk away?”

I was 17 at the time and it’s the strangest date I’ve ever been on to this day.

– Andyrootoo

10. A bit much.

Asking me to suck his d*ck before even having a real conversation.

This actually happened.

To this day, I still don’t know how to say his name or where is he from.

– NICD_03

11. I’m not a charity.

When I ask someone out on a date, especially a first date, I expect that I will pay for the date.

If it’s a restaurant I don’t make a big deal about me paying and I don’t care if she makes any offer to pay or not. It’s okay if I pay, or she pays, or we split, but I’ll assume I’m paying and at least sincerely try if she’s okay with it.

But it is a deal breaker when I think she’s assumed I will be paying and orders extra expensive stuff because she thinks it will be free to her.

My buddy went on a date, and the woman ordered two entrees, so she could take one home for later. Brazen about it.

– countingin

12. What are we doing here?

Going on a dinner (or lunch, breakfast, etc) date and ordering nothing because you ate before you came or aren’t hungry.

It’s incredibly awkward to be the person on the other side of that since you showed up hungry and now you’re supposed to just eat in front of the other person like that’s not weird?

If I’m ever single again and this happens again I’m just going to go home ?

– Momonthecoast

13. Fourth meal.

Well on one first date I had, the dude told me he used to be in a gang and killed 6 people, drove us into oncoming traffic, told me that there were 3 loaded guns in the car (this ride lasted at least 45 minutes there and back), and told me he was bipolar and was not taking any medication for it.

But the dealbreaker was when he stopped to get coffee at Taco Bell

– cityboy1997

14. No means no.

Crossing a simple boundary I placed.

Had a first date where a guy held my hand while I was driving and I said “I’m not really much of a hand holder” and put my hand back on the wheel.

He took my hand back and said “thank you for your sacrifice.” This dance went on for the rest of the date.

This guy also lifted his sweatshirt to reveal a t-shirt that had Jesus on it which said “I never said that” and asked what I thought of his shirt. Felt like a weird test.

– munchkym

15. Big oops.

Forgetting to take off your wedding ring.

– apathyontheeast

I think I can pretty easily agree – if you see any of this, RUN.

What are some other first date red flags you’ve experienced?

Tell us in the comments.