What a wonder is the human body. A big, beautiful, gross, complicated, magnificent, usually broken wonder. It seems we all sort of get used to piloting whatever body we end up with, but what if you needed to hand over the controls for a while?
That’s the strange sort of sci-fi scenario proposed by user its_not_appropriate on r/AskReddit:
Over 11,000 users were more than happy to chime in. Here’s what you should expect if you plan on switching bodies with them any time soon:
1. The sun is a deadly laser.
Stay out of the sun. Apply all the sunscreen you want. You still gonna burn. Like, to the point of blistering.
The body will also tell you to eat lots of spicy shit. This is a trap.
2. Carpel Diem, I guess.
Your hands work you just can’t feel them normally…. like half asleep.
3. If you’re shot through the heart, you’re not to blame.
If you feel a sharp pain that seems like it’s coming from your heart, it’s fine.
Damaged tendon. Not dying.
4. I really hope you’re into pop.
Hips will pop out occasionally, just pop it back in.
5. Some allergy lists are just…way too long.
Hope you don’t like peanuts.
Or eggs, or dogs or cats or shellfish or guinea pigs or pine trees or breathing while running (asthma).
6. You’re gonna want to invest in a loud alarm clock.
I have severe trouble getting out of bed sometimes, whether I’ve gotten a full night’s sleep or got 15 minutes of shut eye.
7. This one is unexpectedly sweet.
When you wake up, make two scrambled eggs for the woman who was sleeping next to you.
If you do that, you’ll have an amazing day
8. I left her all gassed up for ya.
Yes, this amount of farting is normal
9. This would be crazy timing.
I’m 39 weeks pregnant and about to give birth any day now.
Thanks for taking over! Much appreciated
10. Some lists are weirdly specific.
Do not drink milk, stay off my social media, remember to log out of your shit when you’re about to go to sleep, and above all, don’t be a dick.
11. Can anyone, under any circumstance, actually resist coffee?
The jitters and nausea get worse when you drink coffee.
Yes, you must drink it first thing in the morning anyway.
12. It’s not all bad.
You’re going to be dizzy 70% of the time.
You’re going to want to eat nothing but sugar and carbs.
Yes, your feet do hurt that much all the time.
Ah, the tits are banging though.
13. Some commentators thought through the scenario a bit more.
Alright. Alright, let’s be smart about this. Really smart.
“So, you’re taking my body. Okay. You need to know that it overproduces energy and you need to continuously burn it off by doing house and yard work. If you feel the body hurting it’s because you’re not working fast enough.”
Dear God let me wake up a week later with everything done …
14. Some would be happy to trade up.
Lol good riddance.
You can keep it
15. And of course, there’s the inevitable curiosity…
Sorry, that’s as big as it gets.
Personally, I wouldn’t wish my body on anyone. Let’s just stick with what we’ve got, we’ll figure it out.
What would someone need to know about your body before taking over?
Tell us in the comments.