*Adjusts collar nervously* H-hi there! *giggles, looks down at feet* I have some cringey roleplay attempts at flirting for you i-if you want to s-s-see them? *slaps forehead* stupid! No! They wouldn’t want that! You’ve ruined everything again! *looks up at you slowly, a hopeful smile creeping across my lips* un…unless??
*runs away, brings back cringe collection* I hope you like these … and me?? *laughs, tickles your cheeks, farts uncontrollably.*
10. *Looks in shock*
As a point of reference, the IQ score he sites is about on par with that of Albert Einstein.
9. *Sticks out tongue*
Just wait for the twist ending.
8. *Fire is in my eyes*
What is it with these chauvinists and lying about their IQ?
7. *Stars sweating again*
Notice how fast they all go from trying to woo someone to bizarre slut-shaming.
6. *Turns around with the force of a thousand suns*
You could feel sorry for them if it wasn’t for the constant, blatant misogyny.
5. *Softly pets*
If you are petting someone BEFORE introducing yourself you’re way off base, friend.
4. *Takes in a soft gasp of air*
W-why would you t-type in a s-stutter? Even people with actual stutters don’t do that, ya goof.
3. *Excessively starting to sweat*
This one wins for worst asterisk out of the gate so far.
2. *My eyes glow blue like sans*
“Oof, blocked,” is the best response to a death threat I’ve ever seen.
1. *Looks up at you innocently*
I mean, at least in this case the recipient doesn’t seem to hate it?
*cuddles with your elbow* I h-hope you liked that. *gently massages your dog* maybe now we can be *gulps hard, drinks a cask of Diet Mt. Dew* MORE than friends?? *moves into a lighthouse, raises an iguana as my son.*
Have you ever had to deal with conversations like this?
Tell us about it in the comments.