*Adjusts collar nervously* H-hi there! *giggles, looks down at feet* I have some cringey roleplay attempts at flirting for you i-if you want to s-s-see them? *slaps forehead* stupid! No! They wouldn’t want that! You’ve ruined everything again! *looks up at you slowly, a hopeful smile creeping across my lips* un…unless??

*runs away, brings back cringe collection* I hope you like these … and me?? *laughs, tickles your cheeks, farts uncontrollably.*

10. *Looks in shock*

As a point of reference, the IQ score he sites is about on par with that of Albert Einstein.

9. *Sticks out tongue*

Just wait for the twist ending.

8. *Fire is in my eyes*

What is it with these chauvinists and lying about their IQ?

7. *Stars sweating again*

Notice how fast they all go from trying to woo someone to bizarre slut-shaming.

6. *Turns around with the force of a thousand suns*

You could feel sorry for them if it wasn’t for the constant, blatant misogyny.

5. *Softly pets*

If you are petting someone BEFORE introducing yourself you’re way off base, friend.

4. *Takes in a soft gasp of air*

W-why would you t-type in a s-stutter? Even people with actual stutters don’t do that, ya goof.

3. *Excessively starting to sweat*

This one wins for worst asterisk out of the gate so far.

2. *My eyes glow blue like sans*

“Oof, blocked,” is the best response to a death threat I’ve ever seen.

1. *Looks up at you innocently*

I mean, at least in this case the recipient doesn’t seem to hate it?

*cuddles with your elbow* I h-hope you liked that. *gently massages your dog* maybe now we can be *gulps hard, drinks a cask of Diet Mt. Dew* MORE than friends?? *moves into a lighthouse, raises an iguana as my son.*

Have you ever had to deal with conversations like this?

Tell us about it in the comments.