What does your drink order say about you?
OR DOES IT?!
Little did we know, while we were out there having fun, our friendly bartenders might just have been judging us all along…
Give us the inside scoop on our pours of choice, Reddit.
1. Long Island Iced Tea
Rarely get tips and are almost always asked to “make it strong.”
It’s nearly an entire cup of liquor how tf am I supposed to make it stronger
2. Vodka Water with Lime
For the sorority girl who wants to cut calories, then drinks 8 of them and gets blackout pizza from the place next door.
3. Watermelon Bacardi Breezers
Used to be a bartender in a pub in London. Typical pub, you’re selling a lot of beer, the odd cider or glass of wine.
There was a local gangster type that even the other hard bastards in the pub used to be wary of.
Friendly enough guy, but definitely not someone anyone wanted to be on the wrong side of.
He drank nothing but bright pink Watermelon Bacardi Breezers. Taught me not to judge.
4. Vegas Bombs
Either having a great time and one guy is flexing cash with a bunch of friends…will tip well
Douchebag flexing cash around random people he barely knows. Will not tip well
5. Pint of Bitter
I’m a middle aged man who is going to stand by the bar silently until my other middle aged man friend comes and then we’re going to sit silently and watch the football and only speak to ask who’s round it is.
Always a lovely bloke though.
– [deleted user]
6. Lemon Drop
the woman who ordered a Lemon Drop is the only person to this day who has screamed at me at work, so I’ll say that’s a drink for high maintenance a**holes
7. Manhattans in Manhattan
Ordering Manhattans while in nyc because of the novelty, not knowing that it’s mostly bourbon then saying it’s too strong.
8. The Glass Bigot
Tended bar at a pan-tropical bistro when I was in graduate school.
Naturally, we had a few pre-blended fruity, frozen drinks, which were typically served in a hurricane glass, with garnishes.
One evening a very manly man ordered one, but requested that it not be served in “A f**goty glass.”
Apparently real men drink their Mango Mambos in proper Old Fashioned glasses.
9. P**n Star Martinis
I’m going to be loud and obnoxious all night, and my vomit is going to be neon orange when i’ve drank 5 of these.
10. The Caucasian
“One Caucasian Please” – neckbeard fedora dude ordered about 10 white Russians from me one night and called them “caucasians” every time while chuckling to himself every time he came up to the bar
This person is almost certainly a pain in the a**.
I worked at a bar, bar backing, 10 years ago, when Bacardi’s ad campaign made the mojito popular again, somehow… I mean, it’s a great f**king drink, don’t get me wrong.
Anyway, one of the bartenders was telling me at closing that he hated the f**king drink because process- all the muddling and it sucked when everyone wants a Jack or Bacardi and Coke, gin and tonic, vodka-soda- y’know one step, two part drinks and then you have to stop, muddle, muddle, muddle, muddle, and mix- especially when we would be four deep at the bar, both bar tenders busting a**, I was running ice, washing glasses, and pouring beers, and then someone would order a mojito.
The guy who hated making them would act super excited to make them, pulling out all of the Cocktail lines, flipping bottles, smiling- chatting up the person, it was really disingenuous to me, but really funny, I swear he threw so much hatred into that pestle while muddling the lime and mint… So naturally, after we closed, I’d ask for a mojito.
We turned an outdoor shed into a tiki bar shortly after the smoking ban (WI).
Malibu gave us these little buckets to make fun fruity drinks in as a promotional thing. I was 18 but knew the basics of bartending and 3 couples came in and asked for LIT in those d**n buckets. Of course I screwed up my alcohol portions because the drink is f**king straight booze in a bucket and all 3 couples went inside to complain to my manager about my drink making skills and the prices I charged.
We gave the buckets away to make sandcastles after that. We also had a bartender who refused to make a bloody Mary after 4:00 pm, said it was a day drink.
14. The Pinterest Recipe
If you pull up a drink you found on Pinterest and it has 25 steps and is more pretty than tasty, I can tell already you are a future “I want to speak to the manager” type of mom.
15. Shirley Temples
As a grown man who orders Shirley Temples I can say the stereotype is usually that I’m joking.
16. Promotional Profiling
We had a bar nearby that would “guess your drink.” Basically the bartender would profile you and try to figure out what you would order.
He would write it on the beer napkin thing and turn it over after you ordered. If he got it wrong you got a tiny discount. It was good fun.
17. The Seven Seas
once in NYC I overheard a dude ordering a “Seven Seas”.
Turned out it’s “A splash of the first seven things the bartender sees” – yep, instantly judged as an alcoholic
18. The List
From my experience if you order a Bud Light/ Miller Light/ Budweiser with a shot of Bourbon or Whisky you probably work a manual labor intensive job.
Most older women want vodka with water/tonic/soda.
Younger woman tend to order vodka with cranberry or sweeter mixed drinks.
Younger men tend to order IPA’s or Craft Beers.
I can always tell who just turned 21 due to all the complex sweet shots with fancy names being ordered.
Old ladies that want to party usually start with Margaritas.
I bartend on the weekends at a shot and beer spot, so I don’t get a lot variety.
19. Double Brandy and Coke
Means you’re probably from South Africa
20. The Barfight
When a customer orders a fireball for himself, a Coke for his young friend, some bl**job shots for the two ladies with their boyfriends across the bar, and two cosmopolitans for their boyfriends….a d**n cool bar-fight is about to happen.
21. Expensive Cocktails
They want an expensive cocktail and when you tell the price they start arguing with you that it is way to expensive and that they can make it at home for half the price……
22. The Gin Snobs
My city has a very fancy (and tbf very good) gin bar in it which stocks around 500 gins and has become a huge destination for hipster tourists and gin-obsessed mums.
Used to be people coming to my bar would ask for a gin and tonic. Now people coming to my bar ask what gins we have and make me explain every ingredient and the philosophy behind every d**n one before deciding.
So the stereotype in my city is you’re either asking about gin, which means you’re a tourist/instagram nerd or you’re complaining about everyone in front of you asking about gin in which case you’re a local.
Few weeks back a dude was second in line for ten full minutes because the lady in front of him wanted the history of East London Batch 2 and he spent the whole time pulling faces at me over her shoulder. Moment he gets to the bar only thing he says is ‘Gin Bar has a lot to f**king answer for. Gimme a d**n beer.’
Ordered by students which just want to get f**ked up asap.
– [deleted user]
Any variety of boilermaker…guaranteed the customer is an alcoholic.
I had a guy who would regularly order 22 oz bottles of some limited run micro-brew. He preferred the beer poured over ice with a shot of vodka added. He also didn’t own a vehicle, unless you count a bicycle as a vehicle. Here’s to you Voodoo Child.
25. The Stealthy Non-Drinker
I usually go up to the bartender and order “a coke but make it look like an alcoholic drink”.
I don’t drink! Bartenders usually understand my plight. Thank you for letting me fit in!
I used to work in a bar with an excellent real ale selection, so of course we sold more Carling than anything else -_-
Always pillocks who would shout at the football while tearing up the card drinks mats that I had to clean at the end of the night.
Some would complain that we didn’t sell enough ‘real beer’ too. F**k them.
Usually someone who wants to get drunk for cheap and is going to complain that the drink is not strong enough.
Life Pro Tip for bartenders, before serving, fill the straw with well tequila.
You will never get another complaint about a weak LIT.
28. Bond Martinis
Martini ‘shaken, not stirred’= Idiot who knows nothing about booze and definitely has no idea what they’re ordering, and will most likely not like it.
That said, I’m pretty tolerant of most drink orders, people are allowed to like what they like, even if I don’t share the same taste.
29. Malibu and Sprite
When I first started drinking I never knew what to order so my sister told me to get her college friend’s favorite drink, which was Malibu and Sprite. As a lifelong sugar addict I loved it.
One night I ordered it at a bar and the bartender chuckled to himself a bit so I asked him why, he said he just learned the name of that drink but didn’t want to offend me. I said to let me have it; it’s called a High Maintenance White B**ch.
30. Bourbon Old Fashioned
A bartender once told me this means I’m an old woman from the South.
Cheers to you, whatever your drink of choice.
What’s your go to order and why?
Tell us in the comments.