Honestly, I’m tired of feeling chubby all the time. And I know I’m not alone. So I think this is it. I think this is the year that I FINALLY get taller.
What’s that, you say? That’s not how it works? This is an outrage. I demand to speak to a manager.
Losing weight feels rewarding but so does, you know, pizza, so it’s a horrendously uphill battle. And I don’t like going up hills. If I did we wouldn’t be in this mess.
Lucky for me, Twitter is full of likeminded folks on the fitness struggle bus. Here’s a few principles of weight loss, in the form of tweets.
10. Work multiple angles
So you're telling me that in order to get the body I want I have to eat right AND work out? https://t.co/XZUDIjz8MG
— Chy (@thechynnabee) March 3, 2020
9. Maintain balance
Remember the original food pyramid that was like, oh the healthiest food? Probably bread, but make sure you’re getting enough pasta too
— Hen (@papa_hank) February 27, 2020
8. Deplete calories, keep everything else
why can't my body fat decrease as quick as my bank account balance does
— Shafeeq (@Y2SHAF) February 6, 2020
7. Moderation is key
-Me about to eat 8 more Girl Scout cookies.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 3, 2020
6. Encourage yourself
I can eat an entire cauliflower pizza in one sitting because I’m used to putting things that disappoint me in my mouth
— IG: HOEGIVESNOFUCKS (@hgnf_emmers) March 4, 2020
5. Change habits
I wish my toxic trait was being addicted to the gym.
— Jayde Pierce (@JaydePierce) January 16, 2020
4. Stay on schedule
The most disturbing thing about accidentally waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.
— Kelley (@KelleysBreakRm) September 14, 2016
3. Be life-affirming
I don't think it's just a coincidence that the word ''diet'' has the word ''die'' in it. Ugh.
— Heather (@ispeakmeow) April 22, 2009
2. Make better choices
I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I'm making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatball$ on it.
— Lindee Nelson (@lindeelink) May 3, 2017
1. Set goals
I realized I have a few weeks left to lose the 10 pounds I wanted to lose this year.
Only 13 lbs to go…
— JENNA KUTCHER (@jennakutcher) December 9, 2013
I think I’ve officially got the motivation I need now to finally lose the pudge.
Right after I order Chipotle for the third time this week. Baby steps, people. Baby steps.
Have you been trying to lose weight this year? How’s it going?
Let’s talk about it in the comments.