We know why we’re all here. To read them tweets!
So let’s read them tweets!
1. It’s about two weeks for me, but yeah…
Four weeks into a job, you’ve seen everybody’s shirts
— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) June 27, 2019
2. Don’t you like how garbage smells sometimes?!
me explaining to my friends why i’m still talking to the guy they all hate pic.twitter.com/dfR0jpC04V
— bailey (@doyalikebaileys) June 23, 2019
3. She’s eating it at night while you asleep… get her help!
my mom has literally 80 cool whip containers that she uses as tupperware and yet I’ve never seen her put cool whip on anything. where are these containers coming from. what is happening here. what is this story.
— madrigal (@whatmaddness) June 26, 2019
4. OMFG! The timing!
my brother started doing a ribbon dance and i looked down at the ipad and was shook lm*o pic.twitter.com/JsoO1Ckiop
— tori crosby (@victoriacrosby_) June 24, 2019
5. That worked out!
All throughout middle school I pretended to like horses so my rich friend Abi would let me use her pool. Do I regret it? No. Did I enjoy the pool? Uh does a newborn Clydesdale weigh up to 180 pounds? Yes, yes it does.
— sarah schauer ? (@SJSchauer) June 27, 2019
6. Chant it with me, fam!
“Street! Street! Street!” pic.twitter.com/1Yd4G0Uy9T
— Holly Brockwell (@holly) June 24, 2019
7. No, I’m not tired. I’m just disappointed…
Moms love asking questions while yawning
— Anna Drezen (@annadrezen) June 23, 2019
8. Meat Nutella… tella me more…
I most certainly did NOT have meat nutella pic.twitter.com/K1uJqUCuJV
— Sam Corbin (@ahoysamantha) June 28, 2019
9. Don’t judge…
Me every morning before work. pic.twitter.com/uNa5phXOYb
— Gech. (@H_Onyinye_) June 27, 2019
10. I’m so damn classy if that’s the case…
The phrase “dated briefly” is so much grosser than saying “we had s^x a couple times” but is supposed to be classier for some reason
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) June 28, 2019
11. I don’t know what to think about this…
thinking about the time a boy I was hooking up with stopped mid-hook up to ask me if I was wearing men’s deodorant. I was. it was Old Spice.
— jen merritt!!! (@jennifermerr) June 27, 2019
Okay, that’s all we’ve got today.
Enjoy yourself? Then tell your parents about us!
Wait, no… tell your friends. I mean, you can tell your parents too, but that would probably just confuse them.