Full disclosure: I am what we in the business call “a guy.” And as a guy, one thing I have always been grateful for is the fact that I. Don’t. Have. To. Experience. Periods. Of course I only know about their horrors secondhand, but what horrors they are! I truly commend all of ya’ll whose bodies give you no choice but to soldier through this monthly maelstrom. You’re the real MVPs.
Maybe these will help, a little? In that way that being seen kinda helps? Here are 16 of the best period Tweets/jokes out there. Period.
16. Love at first sight
Pain, pain, go away, come again another day.
How i look at ibuprofen on my period pic.twitter.com/YHfNulA05X
— 🌝Lusine Khacheryan 🌚 (@luskaaa__) July 21, 2019
15. Period punctuation
Get it? Because it comes at the end of a sentence. I’ll see myself out now.
I just said to someone “im as sad as ive ever been & don’t know why”
And on the word “why” got my period
— Cameron Esposito (@cameronesposito) February 14, 2018
14. Trade off
Shady’s back…tell a friend…
Period:🎶Guess who's back… Back again🎶
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
— Lacey Nycole (@LaceyNycole) December 5, 2015
13. Jekyll and hide
There are two wolves inside you. One of them is the worst.
who i am and who i am on my period are two completely different bitches
— Taylor Lynn (@iamtaylorlynn) November 28, 2018
12. Step right up!
Imagining a carnival barker trying to do this is absolutely hilarious.
You should bare minimum get a carnival prize for accurately guessing the exact hour your period shows up
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) September 8, 2018
11. Out of nowhere
“No way to see this coming” says body that literally goes through a cycle of it.
MY PERIOD: has been arriving with regularity for about 17 years, meaning I have experienced it more than 200 times
ME EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN MONTH, BUCKLING SIDEWAYS OUT OF MY CHAIR: oh what the whole holy FUCKhell is happening
— Rave Sashayed (@_sashayed) July 20, 2018
10. Just in case
Pretty intimidating figures to add up.
i wanna know how much money my paranoid ass has spent on pregnancy tests bc i’m 4 hours late on my period
— selenas (@bettyboof_) July 18, 2018
9. Break out!
All of the above? Who knows, the human body is the worst.
Did I break out bc I wore makeup or because I used a new makeup remover or because I’m gonna be on my period in a week or bc I’ve been eating or bc I’m sad or bc I’m stressed ? Which is it
— Lawrence’s Cry Baby (@mikiwimango) October 24, 2018
I shouldn’t laugh but I am though.
got my period pic.twitter.com/DGCLBGySbE
— beth| she/her (@hawtheda) July 7, 2020
7. It’s a sign
False alarm, ya’ll. Carry on.
me to my girls after running to the bathroom thinking I got my period pic.twitter.com/C2EtMiehHP
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) July 23, 2018
6. Glow up
This picture is tied for first in the “most terrifying Furby” competition. It is tied with all other Furbies.
me when im bloated and sad bc of my period so i beat my face but im still bloated and sad pic.twitter.com/y96raPUuqH
— yeah (@mahsyako) March 29, 2018
5. RIP vine
This is an absolutely perfect reference and I stan for it.
There’s only one thing worse than getting your period pic.twitter.com/lo9UGOxNnR
— christina (@floozyesq) April 19, 2018
4. Going out on a limb
It’s the subtle signs you learn to look out for.
[arm falls off] probably cuz my period’s soon
— midsommer 2: in it to win it (@hellohappy_time) June 13, 2018
3. Fashionably late
Well look who finally decided to show up.
My period coming late to my uterus on the first day of the next month pic.twitter.com/2Pb5RtFUnH
— Asia Leigh (@asialbx) February 12, 2018
My how the turntables have…
I don’t like the person you become when I’m on my period.
— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) March 26, 2018
Keeping the magic alive.
There’s a real magic in intuitively knowing your period is gonna start overnight and wearing a pad to bed and being right, saving your sheets and the day. pic.twitter.com/ZNKS11x87b
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) June 4, 2018
As I said, mad props to everyone who’s gotta deal with this. And huge bonus points for smiling through the pain enough to write funny tweets about it. You’re the heroes Gotham needs.
What’s the worst thing about periods?
Tell me in the comments.