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The job market can be tough, especially if you aspire to be a part of the entertainment industry.
I’ve seen plenty of very bad industry jobs for the desperate in my time, but this one, shared by reporter Taylor Lorenz on Twitter, absolutely takes the cake.
— Taylor Lorenz (@TaylorLorenz) July 31, 2020
Here’s what the post says…
A well known celebrity/influencer with 10+ million followers is seeking a well organized/available/diligent personal assistant to join her team.
This is a part time “Personal Assistant” position but will eventually transition to full time if properly qualified.
Ok, aside from the vaguely annoying title of “influencer,” so far there’s nothing unusual about this. Successful celebrities and entertainers are busy enough that they need some help, and wealthy enough that they can pay someone to provide that help. “Personal Assistant” is a fine job, especially if the person you’re assisting is down to earth and reasonable.
In this position, you should feel comfortable planning/managing calendar activities…
Yep, sounds like personal assistant stuff.
…being on property around 8 hours a day…
Wait, 8 hours a day? Like a typical 9-5? That doesn’t sound like part time.
but “part time”
— Jane C. Timm (@janestreet) July 31, 2020
Whoa whoa whoa, that’s two entire other jobs right there. If you want a housekeeper or a chef, you hire a housekeeper or a chef. From there it goes on to describe more responsibilities, many production-related which sound reasonable enough on their own, but collectively add up to way too much, including a provision to “handle all personal tasks for the YouTuber.” All personal tasks? You want me to brush your teeth while I’m at it?
I'd rather work at a combo KFC/Taco Bell as an unpaid intern.
— Chris Malanga (@cdm70937617) August 1, 2020
You will have to answer your phone/be on call almost 24/7.
24/7 is as far away from part-time as you can possibly get. It is literally all of the time. There’s no other time than that.
On call 24/7 technically means they’re working 24 hours a day. At the lower rate of $25/hour, that’s $18,000 a month 😂😂😂 Somehow I doubt that overtime clause would be applied.
— Jennifer Wood (@hnrjmpr) July 31, 2020
You must keep all emotion/private life matters completely away from this world. You will deal with lots of incredibly private matters. You must be able to handle hundreds of small tasks at once. You must be able to be the bad guy, remove emotion, handle intense conversations, and bounce back instantly from any mistakes without emotion.
Sounds like maybe you want to hire the Terminator, but OK.
You must harden your heart. You must be able to kill without remorse. Also no health insurance xo
— Jeff Kasanoff (@JeffKasanoff) July 31, 2020
You must be willing to travel anywhere at any time.
– Hourly: $25-$30/hr
Like is the assistant moving in because it sounds like they never go home
— Spill Sesh (@spillseshYT) July 31, 2020
Now, if you’re thinking “All that for $25/hour?! Not even any mention of benefits?!” hold onto your butt, because we’re not nearly done yet. The listing goes on to spell out even more responsibilities. Here are some highlights:
-MUST have a car and be able to drive client anywhere at any time?
So y’all need a nanny, a chef, butler, body guard, secret agent, zombie, AND Uber driver? All in one? Lmao okay
— Catalina Cardona (@catcardonaa) August 1, 2020
-?Fluent in English
-?Ability to handle multiple tasks while staying organized?
Why are they listing tasks as questions?
You will do this job?
You will work these hours?
You will have these tasks?
Like, I dont fucking know, you’re the boss, man.
— Hy-phen (@That1kidvincent) July 31, 2020
-Organize and pack/unpack client’s bags constantly
i thank the job poster for the casual use of the word constantly, as in “Organize and pack/unpack client’s bag constantly”. Constantly!
— carla lalli music (@lallimusic) July 31, 2020
-Ability to compartmentalize emotion and remain professional, calm and hardworking, and quiet at all times?
this better come with health insurance because they’re going to need psychiatric care
— a n d r e a (@awndrayhey) July 31, 2020
-Proactive to seek more responsibility and result/execution orientated?
– Actual work hours will be flexible, but generally expect to be with the client all the time.
-Minimal days off
I would rather die than do any of this for even one day
— Rob (@robrousseau) July 31, 2020
Honestly, we’ve barely scratched the surface here. You should go read the full listing if you haven’t already. To reasonably pull off the responsibilities listed, I’d say they’re looking for:
– At least two personal assistants to work in shifts ($88k/year)
– Housekeeper ($26k/year)
– Chef ($54k/year)
– Butler ($46k/year)
– Chauffeur ($56k/year)
– Producer ($57k/year)
– Assistant director ($47k/year)
– Production assistant ($38k/year)
– Business manager ($62k/year)
Bear in mind, those salary estimates are national averages, the LA average for each is doubtlessly significantly higher thanks to the high cost of living. Altogether you’d be looking at around $400,000/year to employ a staff like that. If this job listing paid $30/hour for 8 hours a day (doesn’t seem like they’re saying they’d pay for the “on call” hours?) and there were “minimal days off” (let’s say three weeks out of the whole year), you’d be looking at $82,560 annually. Less than a quarter of what the work is worth. What a swell opportunity!
What’s the worst job offer you ever got?
Tell us in the comments.