Stalking and other obsessive behavior is more common than you think – a fact illustrated by writer and activist Johnnie Jae, who decided to share her own story of being stalked as a teenager.
She hopes that by telling her story, other young women will realize that they’re not alone…and that they should speak up if something similar happens to them.
When she was 19, a man in his late twenties, a library employee, started following her home after she visited his place of employment.
Part One
When I was 19, I had a stalker. I would go to the library almost every day to study and use the computers. I just left the library and I heard someone calling my name, I turned around and this white guy was running up to me, never saw this guy before.
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Part Two
Apparently, I had left my library card on the computer. I said thank you and turned to continue walking home when I noticed he was walking behind me, he started asking me questions, where I lived, why was I at the library so much, how old was I. I answered vaguely to be polite.
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Part Three
He told me about him, he was 28, worked at the library, he was single, he watched me while I was at the library, occasionally followed me home, said I was the best part of his day & then he asked me out. I declined and said I forgot I had to stop at the bank across the street.
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Part Four
I ran across the street to the bank and hid in the bathroom for about 30min, occasionally looking out the door to make sure he didn't follow me and then I called my mom and asked her to pick me up cuz I was creeped and freaked out by this guy.
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Part Five
I had been going to the library almost every day for months and never saw this guy there, never noticed anyone following me while walking home. My mom picked me up and as we pulled out, I saw him sitting on a bench in the plaza and he waved as we drive off.
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
He fre*ked her out so badly that she quit going to the library, but it wasn’t long before he showed up at her new job.
Part Six
Making that first contact with me must have really emboldened him. I quit going to the library and after the third day of me not going, I started getting calls to the house from the library & I would see him hanging around the block where we lived. After about 2 weeks, it stopped
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Part Seven
I started working at McDonald's and kind of forgot about this dude. A month goes by and all is good til I notice him in line. I take his order and he says it's good to see me and I try to hurry through the whole transaction, he gets his food, eat it & then just stays watching me
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Part Eight
My shift ends and my dad always picked me up, so I left out the back entrance. Next day, he is back and does the same thing. He does this for about 4 days and I don't know what to do and I also don't know if I'm just being paranoid and dramatic.
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Like many women, she wondered what she’d done. She wondered if she’d encouraged him, if she was fre*king out about nothing, if she should chill.
Part Nine
I tried to ignore it. On the 5th day things escalated. He came in, ordered food, but he left & I thought okay I was being paranoid. Then I went to take some trash out with one of my co-workers & he was out by the dumpsters. He got all happy & said I knew you'd come out eventually
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Part Ten
My co-worker got freaked out for me and was like Hey man, you can't be here, you need to leave. This dude squared up like he was going to fight my co-worker and then he just took off running. My co-worker asked if I knew him and I explained but I really downplayed it
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Part Eleven
Again, I didn't want to seem paranoid, dramatic or weak even. I didn't work the next two days cuz they were my days off and when I went back, I had gotten the closing shift, so I was happy thinking I wouldn't have to see that dude cuz I had been working the morning shift
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Luckily, people around her let her know that she was not overreacting at all.
Part Twelve
Nope, I show up for my shift and when I walk in there is he. I run to the back, clock in and dread going up front. I get there and he's just standing behind the lines now just watching. My supervisor sees him just standing there & asks if he's been helped & he doesn't even answer
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Part Thirteen
He just stands there. After about 10 minutes of him just standing there watching me, my supervisor asks if that's my boyfriend and then reminds me it is unprofessional for me to have visitors…she says this where he can hear and he starts smiling and just leaves.
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Part Fourteen
After he's gone I pull my supervisor aside and tell her about this guy and this time I don't downplay & I tell her that I am afraid of him and I don't know what to do. She apologizes for getting on to me and says they'll look out for me and handle it.
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Part Fifteen
She also calls my parents and fills them in for me. That night after closing up, we're leaving and we discover when he left, he didn't really leave. He was sitting in the back by the dumpsters and when he saw us coming out, started walking towards us.
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Part Sixteen
My supervisor tells him to stop and not come any closer or she'll call the cops, my dad sees him and gets out the car. This dude sees my dad and takes off. At this point I am terrified and embarrassed and feeling like maybe I did something to make him act this way.
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Still, it got worse.
Part Seventeen
The next day he was back and my supervisor called the cops. She filed a restraining order and I did too. Was that the end of it…..Nope. He started hanging out across the street, every day. Calling my house, hanging around my block.
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Part Eighteen
I called the library to file a complaint and make them aware of the restraining order, they fired him and barred him from the premises. He started showing up while I was in classes and thankfully security put a quick stop to that cuz he didn't have a student ID
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Part Nineteen
It was like I couldn't escape this guy and I couldn't make sense of it because I couldn't figure out why me or how this was happening when the only conversation I ever had with this guy lasted no longer than maybe 5 minutes
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Then, he disappeared.
Part Twenty
This went on for about 4 months and then it just stopped. It was like he disappeared from the face of the Earth and he literally did. He was in a car accident and died, saw it in the paper and I had never felt more relieved in my life and that is horrible to say
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Part Twenty-One
But I spent months being terrified and it took me a long to stop feeling guilty, ashamed and afraid of everything. I didn't know this guy, I had one very brief conversation and somehow he felt entitled to me, he felt emboldened to terrorize me because I rejected him.
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
It was a strange feeling, to go from being frightened for her own life to being relieved at the loss of someone else’s, but the man’s bizarre and escalating behavior was a red flag no one should ignore.
Part Twenty-Two
I am sharing my story because at 5 am this morning, I read where a 17 year old girl was brutally murdered because she rejected the advances of a man she met on Discord. https://t.co/75Znn2nP8v
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 15, 2019
Plenty of women had similar experiences, and they were willing to share too.
That is definitely a stalker.
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 18, 2019
Seems like most women have a story like this.
I'm so sorry. The isolation you go through to be safe takes a huge toll on your spirit. Keep healing. ❤️
— Johnnie Jae aka The Burnt Ball of Fury (@johnniejae) July 18, 2019
It’s honestly really scary how often this happens.
https://twitter.com/MBourdoucen/status/1152237471868104707?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1152237471868104707&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwokesloth.com%2Fstalker-tweet-thread%2Falison-sullivan%2F
It’s both frightening and empowering, to realize that so many people understand what it’s like to go through something like this, but the big takeaways are this: tell someone, and you’re not alone.
Have a story you want to share? Let us know in the comments.