Tired of torrents of technical tedium tying up your time? Too much typing tasteless tirades and treatises on today’s topical tales? Too tuckered to tread through tasks? Take a tranquil trip with these twelve tantalizing tidbits from Twitter’s top tweeters!

Touring these tiny terse tweets towers triumphantly over tawdry typical trials and tribulations. Take ’em in!

12. Don’t leaf me

Never give up, never surrender.

11. A beautiful mind

You’re asking me to do math BEFORE coffee? This is a sick joke.

10. There’s vomit on his sweater already…

…mind spaghetti.


9. Performance review

Your brain is a simulation machine. Also it hates you.

8. Think tank

There’s a world of possibilities to be ignored.

7. Have a seat

The official furniture of epiphanies.


6. Brace yourself

Seat belts and seat felts.


5. From the pit of despair

Millennials rejoice, since apparently this is all we spend our money on.

4. One for the books

Psh. As though there will be books in ten years.


3. Squirrel, please

Something is really driving him nuts.


2. Arm & Hammer

Well that’s metal as hell.

1. Paper in the wind

We’ll meet again, if the fates allow.

Hope you enjoyed those – and if ya did, remember to go follow all these funny people! They sweat it out over a hot keyboard day and night to bring you these funnies, after all. Go show ’em a little appreciation. Give ’em some likes, some retweets. That’s basically internet currency.

Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter right now, and why?

Tell us all about it in the comments.