Tired of torrents of technical tedium tying up your time? Too much typing tasteless tirades and treatises on today’s topical tales? Too tuckered to tread through tasks? Take a tranquil trip with these twelve tantalizing tidbits from Twitter’s top tweeters!
Touring these tiny terse tweets towers triumphantly over tawdry typical trials and tribulations. Take ’em in!
12. Don’t leaf me
Never give up, never surrender.
Shoutout to the bag of spinach in my fridge trying to stay fresh day after day knowing damn well I’m not gonna eat it.
— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) January 4, 2018
11. A beautiful mind
You’re asking me to do math BEFORE coffee? This is a sick joke.
I’ll just turn my data on https://t.co/2Ir8XBRULI
— TEEKS (@BADDST_TEEKS) December 30, 2019
10. There’s vomit on his sweater already…
someone please eat my brain spaghetti https://t.co/Wq8ZGYJ3qf
— based&superstructured (@mass_militance) May 22, 2020
9. Performance review
Your brain is a simulation machine. Also it hates you.
Who needs sleep when you can review a series of bleak scenarios
— donni saphire (@donni) June 1, 2020
8. Think tank
There’s a world of possibilities to be ignored.
I could be doing one thousand different things right now, but I'm just going to sit here and overthink.
— Modern_MomProbs (@Modern_MomProbs) May 15, 2020
7. Have a seat
The official furniture of epiphanies.
Late night talks on these be hitting different https://t.co/Q4xtWAjpw4
— ирина ? (@lrrchan) February 24, 2020
6. Brace yourself
Seat belts and seat felts.
When that turn a lil too hard pic.twitter.com/3REzcBHPUd
— BRAT?. (@iimanishanell) April 21, 2020
5. From the pit of despair
Millennials rejoice, since apparently this is all we spend our money on.
In a world full of negative news stories, one story rises above them all pic.twitter.com/VtZOGTUH0j
— Lexi Dahlstrom (@LexiDahlstrom) November 7, 2016
4. One for the books
Psh. As though there will be books in ten years.
Students in 10 years getting their history books?? pic.twitter.com/5ker21SZpN
— KAPORARE? (@KaaangSlime) June 1, 2020
3. Squirrel, please
Something is really driving him nuts.
I really want to know what this squirrel is annoyed at… pic.twitter.com/5EdzkHjkkG
— Lady Boss (@dorianarwybeach) May 6, 2020
2. Arm & Hammer
Well that’s metal as hell.
The ads for women’s shower products always say things like “Lock in your moisture” and “Rejuvenate your pores.” Meanwhile, men’s ads are just like “Smell like hammer, you idiot.”?
— cindy chloe (@cindychloe8) May 20, 2020
1. Paper in the wind
We’ll meet again, if the fates allow.
“If you love something set it free” -me spending money
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) November 14, 2019
Hope you enjoyed those – and if ya did, remember to go follow all these funny people! They sweat it out over a hot keyboard day and night to bring you these funnies, after all. Go show ’em a little appreciation. Give ’em some likes, some retweets. That’s basically internet currency.
Who are your favorite people to follow on Twitter right now, and why?
Tell us all about it in the comments.