Woman Explains Important Lesson On Why She Chooses to Be Standoffish in Public

Why some women are "rude" or "cold" or "standoffish" to men in public: a thread

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

I was walking my dog today and stopped to take a photo of the sunset. A man on a bench behind me was having a snack and he offered Echo a cracker, which she gladly took, because she's a dog and always wants the people foods.

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

It started innocently enough. He asked my dog's name, and then mine. I asked for his and we shook hands. I hate making small talk but, well, he had been very nice to offer my dog a treat, so I mentioned the nice weather. He asked if I lived in the area.

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

Now, as a woman, I don't like that question. First of all, I'm walking my dog, so it's already pretty clear that I probably live fairly close by. But I answered yes, made an excuse about Echo needing her medication, and dragged her away. All in all, not the worst interaction.

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

About 200 yards away, I paused to let Echo sniff some stuff and text a friend. "Hey, I thought you were going home?" Oh, boy. He'd followed me. I smiled and said I was just texting a friend back, but was on my way home, which was true– but more explanation than I owed a stranger

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

He asked me where I lived. This made me uncomfortable, so I lied and said I live a neighborhood over. He said he'd seen me around often, which made me uncomfortable because I'd never seen him before but I guess he has been watching me.

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

He asked if I have family around. I said no. And then he asked me if I live alone. So now a strange man, over 6 feet tall, probably in the 220-260 pound range, has been watching me, following me, has a rough idea of where I live…

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

and now he knows that I have no family in the area to check in on me. And now he wants to know if I live by myself. Alarm bells are ringing in my head and luckily this time I can tell the truth– I do not live alone, I have a former military male room mate. But I'm still scared.

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

I start tugging the leash to get across the street and he asks for a hug. Before I can say no he wraps his arms around me and squeezes me, tightly, and doesn't let go for a good 10-15 seconds. I was terrified he would squeeze tighter because I knew he could hurt me if he wanted.

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

Finally he let me go and I dashed across the street with my dog, even though the crosswalk timer was nearly up. All I wanted was to get home ASAP. But I couldn't even do that. What if he followed me again? What if he saw where I lived?

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

I had to take an alternate route home, in the dark, constantly checking behind me to make sure I wasn't being followed, constantly making sure I was surrounded by plenty of people so I wouldn't be alone in the dark, constantly staying on the best lit streets.

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

So now I need to plan a new dog walking route, and I have to be even more wary than usual after dark (which comes at like 4:45 now, thanks winter.) All because I decided to be nice to a strange man. I gave him an inch and he took a mile.

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

I've experienced this over and over and OVER, and yet I STILL try to give people the benefit of the doubt because I don't want to get called a bitch. I don't owe anyone ANYTHING. Not a smile, not a hello, not a hug. And I'm going to remember that.

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

This man didn't look scary, or creepy, or weird. Our interaction started perfectly pleasantly. So next time a woman on the street comes off as "rude", remember that we have NO IDEA which men are going to follow us home, or touch us without our consent, or worse.

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

Oh, and on my way home, another man stopped me and told me I had better "watch my figure". I assume this is because HE wanted to watch my figure.

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

So yeah. I'm at home shaking now, hoping that man didn't follow me home. Hoping he doesn't really see me around a lot, hoping he doesn't know where I really live. And hoping that I can make ONE person understand how dangerous "just being nice" to strangers can be.

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

And for thos eof you saying "wow he's creepy": you're correct! He IS creepy! And I had NO WAY OF KNOWING whether he would be creepy or harmless until it was too late!

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

And for those of you telling me to "stay safe" and protect myself: being "rude" IS a way of staying safe and protecting myself. When a woman you do not know brushes you off, won't say hello back or thank you for your compliment or whatever, THIS IS WHY. SHE IS PROTECTING HERSELF.

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

So next time you wanna get butthurt about it, try and consider WHY she might be acting that way. Consider that if she is nice to a man who later turns creepy people will tell her she should have been more careful.

— LilyEvans 🐀 (@LilyEvansMFC) January 5, 2018

You should carry something for protection,I do. N I don’t let randoms give treats to my dog when on walks. Say he has “allergies”. N don’t ever feel bad walking away from small taking creepers. Being nice is overrated.I don’t want 2 end up on the wrongside of a dateline episode.

— 🇮🇱 blokes can not be lesbians 🇺🇦 (@bensonspot) January 6, 2018

We don’t need to be told you aren’t all like this. We have fathers and brothers and friends. But I can’t go get a cup of coffee in the morning without being groped, followed, or harassed. That’s sure as shit gonna change you.

— The O.B's (@TheObsBand) January 6, 2018