Every week there are standout tweets that make us laugh – some are unexpected, some are punny, and still others are insightful and poignant – and we want to make sure you don’t miss them!
Here’s this week’s roundup of our favorite 13!
13. It’s like they don’t even want us to live.
They really put this sh^t on the freeway like all of us wouldn’t take our phones out while traveling at 65+ miles an hour and take a dumbass picture pic.twitter.com/2tRHQbnHpl
— cris_david (@Cris_David2) October 21, 2019
12. This is just so priceless.
Tbt to Halloween when I dressed as the babadook but my friend's house had more of a grown ups drinking wine vibe pic.twitter.com/PoGKUFeLLw
— Katie Dippold (@katiedippold) June 30, 2016
11. I’ll never be able to sing it the right way again.
?Row, row, Robocop
Gently down the stream
Directive one: Uphold the law
I am part machine?
— TF Noir (@TFNoir) October 21, 2019
10. Yes. Yes they are.
I’m watching a first date in a cafe, she says her favorite fruits are cherries or strawberries, and he nods knowingly and says “red fruits”
— ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* (@notreallysophie) October 20, 2019
9. You’re going to want to turn your sound on for this one.
a moment in american history we will never forget pic.twitter.com/oYi9VzjjbO
— E??♂️ (@heylias) October 19, 2019
8. You gotta protect the merchandise.
I saw a man getting ready to fight someone and he took out his airpods and gave them to his friends like they were hoops
— Maya Murillo (@mayainthemoment) October 22, 2019
7. It’s so great, right?
when ur reading a book ur literally just staring at a dead tree and hallucinating
— will ia (@trulyeI) October 22, 2019
6. Someone is cruisin’ for a brusin’.
I’m Never Gone Grow Up ??♂️ My Momma Thought It Was A ? Talking Bout She Was Fena Go Get Her Glock ?? pic.twitter.com/DHoHYT6lAN
— WILL (@WILLTHEGENARAL) October 17, 2019
5. I feel like this is a completely accurate assessment.
These are called “billionaire bangs” and you get them from a stylist who hates you, and keep them because your friends know you can’t take a joke. pic.twitter.com/ND6Z8QO2lw
— Mike Ginn (@shutupmikeginn) October 23, 2019
4. I mean, that’s one reason.
Dungeons and Dragons is popular because it appeals to the human fantasy of having a group of friends who can come over at a regular time
— Chillie Franxiety (@onyxaminedlife) October 20, 2019
3. This goes through my head all the time.
Me, writing an email:
I'm using an exclamation point so you know I'm friendly and excited! But now I'm using a period so that you know I'm not crazy. Here's another sentence with a period as a buffer, proving my normalness. Thanks so much!
— Grace Segers (@Grace_Segers) October 24, 2019
2. What were they thinking?
almost 22 years ago 2 people had s^x and now i have to go to work everyday
— bam its sam✨ (@saaamscottt6) October 16, 2019
1. This kid definitely knows how to play the game.
the best clip to start the NBA season is this kid baiting the broadcast into flashing a "Fight for freedom stand with Hong Kong" sign on TV and then the cameraman pans away pic.twitter.com/B30ubY63CX
— Rod Breslau (@Slasher) October 23, 2019
I can’t wait to see what y’all on Twitter come up with next week!
Do you have a favorite from the week? Please share it with us in the comments!