I’ve had friends who’ve given people spare keys before to let out their dog or something like that and they later found out that the person they trusted had been digging around their house while they were gone.

That’s just a huge NO-NO in my book, so I wasn’t surprised when they took the keys away from their s0-called friends and those relationships definitely suffered because of it.

A woman took to Reddit’s “Am I the Asshole?” thread and asked the folks on that forum to ask if she was wrong for taking a spare key away from her friend who she unexpectedly surprised in her own home.

Read the story below and we’ll see you on the other side to discuss this situation.

“So my best friend and I swapped keys to our houses in case of emergency, we can get in to each other’s houses. We’ve never had to use them except for once she forgot her keys at home and I let her in. Anyway over the weekend my boyfriend went to visit his mother and I went grocery shopping for the first time in like 4 weeks, so the house was empty.

My boyfriend and I have some bdsm stuff in the bedroom that we didn’t put away because we were lazy and didn’t think anyone would see, since no one was coming over. Not anything super insane, just a pair of handcuffs and a rope.

Anyway, when I got home my friend was just in my house, sitting in the dining room. No warning, she didn’t tell me, I was completely blindsided. I asked her why she was in my house and she said she had lost a necklace the last time she was here, and waited until I was gone as to “socially distance”. But then, if entering my house without permission wasn’t enough, she started lecturing me on the bdsm stuff and how it’s “degrading” and that I shouldn’t let my boyfriend do that to me. We’ve never really agreed on kinky sex in the past when we’ve talked about it so we HAD agreed just to not bring it up. But also I’m not the one having stuff done to me, my boyfriend is the sub. I of course couldn’t tell her this because I didn’t want to embarrass my boyfriend.

I was super pissed, and I took her key and told her to not bother contacting me unless it was to apologize for violating my privacy. She said it wasn’t fair to take my key back, but I just pushed her out the door and didn’t listen because I was so mad.

She’s been texting me how she didn’t mean it as a violation of privacy and was just getting her necklace and happened to see but was “worried” for me. I talked to one of my other friends about it and she said that I should just let it go and move on, and that while I’m in the right I’m being to uptight about it. I don’t think this is just a let it go and move on type of thing, am I overreacting here?


First of all, I’m not really sure I even believe her story about trying to find her necklace. Secondly, what consenting adults choose to do in their own homes in no one’s business.

People on Reddit had a lot of thoughts about this story.

This reader definitely did not think that she was in the wrong and believes that the whole situation seems a little…fishy…

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another person responded that her “friend” who had the spare key broke the sacred bond of trust and that no one should ever snoop around another person’s home.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another commenter recommended changing the locks ASAP…which is a pretty good idea.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Here’s another take: this reader seems to think that the whole interaction was set up to be an intervention about the homeowner’s lifestyle choices.

Photo Credit: Reddit

And finally, this person believes that the woman who used to have the spare key needs to apologize and atone for her discretions or else the friendship should be terminated.

Photo Credit: Reddit

What do you think?

Was her friend way out of line or did this woman overreact a little bit to her friend who is concerned about her?

Let us know what you think in the comments, please!