Urban Dictionary defines a backhanded compliment as “An insult disguised as a compliment,” and offers the following examples:

“No, honey…I love yours. I don’t even like them big.”
“Relax, sweetie…you were perfectly adequate.”
“Your haircut really slims your face.”

Of course, not every single thing that falls into this category is necessarily intentional. But they are, at best, really stupid and thoughtless, and definitely to be avoided.

To drive that point home, here are ten posts from women on the backhanded compliments they’ve received that they most despise.

10. Body of evidence

Why would you say that to anyone?

Source: Whisper

9. Pay it forward

I feel like even if you were literally setting up a transaction with an escort this would still be rude.

Source: Whisper

8. Work it

Honesty is the best policy? I guess?

Source: Whisper

7. Slim chance

Nobody asked you. Literally nobody.

Source: Whisper

6. Pointing it out

Because in their mind that stands out the most.

Source: Whisper

5. Hot and cold

Gee, thanks?

Source: Whisper

4. Black and white

Yeah, this is just racism.

Source: Whisper

3. Here we go again

*sigh.* See above.

Source: Whisper

2. Make it up

Again. WHY?

Source: Whisper

1. Age old question

If I hit 80, you can start saying this to me.

Source: Whisper

Think before you compliment someone, and if it ever feels like what’s about to come out of your mouth is even a little bit of a powerplay, just shut up. Just don’t.

What’s the worst backhanded compliment you’ve ever received?

Tell us in the comments.