Oh, tweets. Aren’t they just the best? Usually? When they’re not causing enormous societal upheaval and what not?
These tweets won’t have any catastrophic effects. They’re just a collection of great jokes and observations from some of the funniest ladies on the platform, and now they’re all yours to nod and laugh along with. What a time to be alive!
And speaking of time, it’s time to look at these tweets! Like I said! Before!
10. The process
I frequently write content for a living and even I’m not sure how to stretch “please give me this job because I need money” into a 600 word essay about teamwork or whatever.
when you apply for a job they literally force you to write them a deranged little love letter. textbook anxious attachment!!
— sara tardiff (@saratardiff) March 10, 2021
9. That’s not chair
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Goldilocks was a Colonizer and it’s time we all talked about it.
Goldilocks was crazy I love her..imagine breaking into someones house and being like. Umm this chair fucking sucks
— helena (@freshhel) March 11, 2021
8. Take a break
Who actually has the time to cook like three entire good meals in one day?
I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3pm & sit down the rest of the day.
— B (@DontWorryBoutB) March 10, 2021
7. The whole story
In my defense, I was trying very hard to raid Area 51.
“i was bullied for liking anime” nah tell the whole story, u were running in the hallways thinkin u were NARUTO
— 𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐘 (@BLKGALORE) March 10, 2021
6. Nothing to sneeze at
It’s just a sacrifice you have to make when faced with such cuteness.
My god I am so allergic to my puppy. It’s a mess but if one of us had to die it’s gonna be me.
— Camilla Blackett (@camillard) March 10, 2021
5. The stimmy!
Oh boy what a deal.
Fashion Nova bout to be like,
“IT’S THE STIMMY FOR ME! 50% OFF SITEWIDE!” 😭
— 🌑 (@makaylarenada) March 10, 2021
It doesn’t fit super well into a chant but I can get behind the energy of the thing.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light pic.twitter.com/cE5IJWBW1E
— eveforward (@eveforward) March 10, 2021
3. No sun of mine
Do we need to explain how reflection works again?
moon should be wearing the sunglasses. sun should not have the sunglasses. yet another thing i gotta fuckin deal with
— tara shoe (@tarashoe) March 18, 2017
2. The investment
If you literally pinch your pennies, you can do…nah, still nothing.
Using my $1400 to invest in cryptocurrency, get my LLC, some land, and a rental property. The other half is going towards my savings
— nelly (@amourneIIy) March 10, 2021
1. Full bodied flavor
And also with you.
once on a date I asked this Catholic girl if those body of Christ crackers would taste good with hummus and she never called me again
— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) March 11, 2021
See? Just a lot of quality tweets right there. Come back soon. Let’s do it again sometime.
Who are your favorite women to follow on Twitter?
Tell us in the comments.