This may in fact be a perfect microcosm or flawless exemplar of what the internet is as a whole; everyone asking each other why we’re talking about what we’re talking about and giving our opinions on it.
But outside of the endless spiral of madness there are also just people saying funny stuff which is always appreciated. Here are some of those. Maybe we can get them trending and then ask each other why we just did that.
10. I got a golden ticket
This all better be leading up to some rich guy giving me his business.
Wasn’t planning on spending my hottest years living like the grandparents in Charlie and the Chcolate Factory but here we are
— Emma Ketchum (@emmaketchup7) February 17, 2021
9. Wrapped up
And yet still no mask.
answering the door for delivery pic.twitter.com/uiONkkmffe
— Maggie? Winters? (@saggiesplinters) February 17, 2021
8. Hell no
I installed smart lights all through my apartment and for like a week straight they just turned on full blast at the stroke of midnight.
my power came back on while i was sleep and my room was bright red bc of my LED lights, thought i woke up in hell bitch
— $нαwty.♕ (@shawty2trilll) February 17, 2021
7. Read on
The secret ingredient is crime.
One day I’m gonna write a book about a recipe blogger that confesses to murder in every single recipe on their website but they never get caught because no one reads the 12 pages of text before the recipe.
— Dea Poirier (@deapoirierbooks) February 14, 2021
I mean I guess we could go hiking, but like, my shoes.
guys on hinge are like “looking for someone who loves random adventures ?” and the adventure is just anal
— cassandra (@cassbwell) February 18, 2021
5. Pay up
No, I work at Pizza Hut because of my undying passion for mediocre crust.
so many bosses have told me some variant on ‘it seems as if you’re only here for the paycheck’ and like. yeah
— rax ‘preorder TACKY ?’ king (@RaxKingIsDead) February 13, 2021
4. Worst Valentine’s Day Ever
Oh Mia is gonna get it good.
i thought this year would be different but no… he sent me some other hoes v day gift. idk who mia mor is but i hope he’s happy, worst valentine’s day ever. pic.twitter.com/dCox0gQjYx
— jules (@cowboij) February 14, 2021
3. Checked out
What’s this about movies now?
i used to check my phone like twice during a movie and now i check the movie like twice during my phone
— Dana Donnelly (@danadonly) February 13, 2021
2. The circle of life
Jeans are now formal wear for special occasions.
wake up in pyjamas → shower
change into new pyjamas
— chief (@mvrsssss) February 15, 2021
1. Not it
Here are 12 things we think are kinda like it, even though they’re really not.
Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin bout but we ain’t got it lol”
— The Emperor (@GiftedAsia) February 18, 2021
That’s good stuff, Twitter. Good stuff.
Who are your favorite people to follow for their hilarious tweets?
Tell us in the comments.