You know what drives me crazy with movie characters?
When there’s some kind of conflict arising from a misunderstanding, and Character A says to Character B “How could you!” B and A have known each other for a while, and B has given A no reason not to trust him before now, but A jumps right to assuming the worst. “I can explain!” shouts B, “Save it!” says A, and leaves in a huff.
B really could have explained. But he won’t get a chance to, because we need to save that resolution for the final act. In the meantime, try to somehow not think of A as an absolute sociopath.
Oh look, here’s Twitter to pick apart some more tropes!
10. Phony phone
I also leave gaps in my conversation that are way too short for me to be getting the information I’m getting.
Hello. I am a person talking on a phone in a film. I never say goodbye when I hang up, and weirdly nobody else in that film ever seems to think that is really fucking rude.
— Tom Cox (@cox_tom) February 26, 2021
9. Carry on
I get everything I need with just the look on my face.
Hello. I am a female character in a film. I never carry a back pack, fanny pack or purse because I can get anywhere I want and do whatever I need to do without money, phone or any form of ID.
— Joyce Kline (@joycekline) March 6, 2021
8. Shoot up
Yeah that’s not how guns work.
I am the man with a gun who, when I go into action or pick it up or when I get it out my holster will slide the slide back or pump the shotgun and the round in the chamber from the previous time (only 10 seconds before) doesn’t fly out.
— Steve Cattell (@unipede) March 5, 2021
7. Afraid of the dark
“Let me just unload these groceries I’m carrying for some reason in the darkness.”
Hello I’m a person in a film and I never turn the light on when I get home in the middle of the night.
— Mary Bloom (@marybloom4810) February 26, 2021
6. Period piece
What a perfect world.
Hello. I am a woman in a film who has her period. I wear white clothes with aplomb and never have to check the furniture when I get up from sitting, also never have to have friends check back of said clothes for leaks. I manage a hectic lifestyle without needing painkillers.
— covidvaccinated molotov ?? (@NursepollyRgn) March 4, 2021
5. Good police work
We’re all better cops than movie cops.
Hello, I am the suspiciously helpful witness to a crime that the audience just *knows* is the murderer, but the cops are totally oblivious to until it’s almost too late.
— Ronnie Beaton (@CreepingSpleen) March 5, 2021
4. Seek and ye shall find
“Good thing they have it filed under ‘I’ for ‘incriminating evidence.'”
Hello. I’m a person in a movie who has snuck into an office where I’ve never been to find some critical information. I look through a few unmarked file drawers, then flip through some file folders, then open one of the folders. Voila! 90 seconds, tops.
— Adam Spilka (@ARSpilka) March 7, 2021
3. Do the twist
The first day you become cool they teach you how to do that neck thing.
Hello, I am one of several swarthy henchmen guarding the sunny gardens of an opulent mansion; I am immediately killed by a slight twisting motion to my head.
— Anton Chigurh (@zzapbrannigan) March 5, 2021
2. Fit me in
Lose the attitude.
Hello I’m the shop fitting room in a film. Whenever you want to try on clothes I’m always free unless you’re in a hurry, in this case you overtake the person walking slowly in front of you just before they reach me, turn smile, then close curtain with gusto and precision.
— Nicky Harley (@harleynicky) March 4, 2021
1. Secret surprise
GOTTA SAVE IT FOR ACT III.
Hello. I am a person in a film. My family, friends and I keep TONS of secrets from each other. We never tell each other the big things happening, even when our loved ones are involved, really need to know too & it would quickly alleviate all problems.
— Lisa (@lis_lam) March 4, 2021
Hows come movies so dumb, yanno?
What other tropes should we dig into?
Tell us in the comments.