It’s time for some tweets! Just look at your watch to confirm!
Also, you still wear a watch? Not even a smart watch but just a normal time-telling dumb watch? What is it, some kind of treasured heirloom passed down to you by your grandfather or something? I’ll bet it is. Nerd.
Why don’t you get with the times and enjoy some Tweets with us cool kids instead.
10. You reap what you sew
I understand, I can’t even remember who I was yesterday.
I’m a different person then I was last week when I ordered this sewing machine that just arrived
— Meg Stalter (@megstalter) January 8, 2021
9. Hulking out
That’s what you get for truly living green.
i can't wait for trader joes employees to get the vaccine pic.twitter.com/M2xjahWJDr
— Ms. Grace Kuhlenschmidt (@GKuhlenschmidt) January 7, 2021
Except it’s significantly less funny.
america distributing the vaccine pic.twitter.com/qImWeOnmxO
— Emma Berquist (@eeberquist) January 5, 2021
7. Run for it
These are the Olympic events they’re too cowardly to show us.
A shark could swim faster than me,but I can probably run faster than a shark. So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.
— Saifism (@BabaIraque) January 6, 2021
6. So weird
You really have no idea what a walking disaster you actually are.
nobody’s thinking about that weird thing you said. they’re thinking about a different weird thing you said that you didn’t even clock
— kylie brakeman (@deadeyebrakeman) January 2, 2021
5. Capital letters
Did I even do that title right? I’m filled with doubt now. Doubt that will haunt me the rest of my days.
Capitol and Capital really kicking y’all asses. But I’ll talk about it tomorrow
— Darius Lovehall. (@Heyyy_Kass) January 6, 2021
Great, now this is gonna be stuck in my head for the rest of today and beyond.
What is today? The 4th? The 5th? The minor fall? The major lift? idek
— Agent V (@VeroniKaboom) January 4, 2021
3. Bonus time!
I didn’t order this but I’d still like to return it if possible.
not enjoying this bonus week of 2020 content for hardcore fans
— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) January 4, 2021
2. Choose your own
It’s an important question and they were right to address it as quickly as possible.
Good morning to everyone except my partner who, at 2am, mid-dream, sat bolt upright in bed and terrifyingly shouted into the dark: “Will there be a buffet?”
— Joanna Hardy (@Joanna__Hardy) January 5, 2021
1. Miserable neighbors
Lady you need to invest in a pair of headphones.
These walls are too thin. Playing Paramore and my neighbor yelled “ play Misery Business next “ .. i did as they requested.
— Dom. (@dominoedoe) January 5, 2021
And with that, Twitter time has ended, until it begins again, which is pretty much whenever, because Twitter never sleeps. EVER.
Who do you think are the most underrated people posting on Twitter right now?
Tell us about them in the comments.